ark of conwheals

Transgressions

2011-09-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

How necessary is change? Why do some people willingly embrace it whilst others abhor it? Is it the only tangible constant or is it repetitive in the realms of necessity? Why do people's desires change over time from dreams to whatever's-in-hand? Why does a girl who dreams of Mr Right settle down with Mr Earns-A-Fuckin'-Lot?

Why does creativity have no outright takers? Why is innovation predicated on pecuniary means? Why is contentment so elusive? What is contentment? Does happiness have a viable meaning?

Can promiscuity really engender love? When do love and hate collide? Why can't we cure cancer? Why is learning made up of earning? Why do people not use birth control? Why are sons favored over daughters?

Why does free speech only advocate moderate views and not extremist or conservationist views? What is the real meaning of being literate? Why are materialistic gains only looked down upon or looked upto? Why does India have no idea where it's heading? Why do homosexuals need endorsement from celebs to be what they are? Why is prudish behavior met with disapproval? Why am I writing all this?

I haven't an idea of the peculiar human nature that resides among us all but if it did have a voice, it would be disdain.
No really it would.
No catharsis of any sort can help unless elementary, breeding doubts are met. My doubt is:
What is the true meaning of being literate?

Joey vs Barney: Legen-waitforit-till the end of the post i meant.

2011-04-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

F.R.I.E.N.D.S - Epic. Unrivalled. Colossal success. Phenomenal.
How I Met Your Mother - Barney Stinson.

A friend of mine said a couple of days back- "Barney Stinson is the new Joey". I spluttered and planned to garrote him in the chasms of my mind. He, then went on to explain that Baaarneeey is the new Jooeeey and not that HIMYM is the new F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I thought about it and since I hated the thought process and where it led me, I therefore proceed to exhume a factor called "Joey" of a goliathan show that's been off air for 8 years now and still has sponsors lining up for re-runs. I pit it against the formidable if not great 'David'ish HIMYM. Since even this would be unfair on many levels, I decide to piggyback on my last sentence and pit Joey with his lady-killing ways and bufffonish charms against the upcoming Barney Stinson with all his Lemon Laws and The Playbook intact.

What Joey had going for him:
Dr. Drake Ramoray and how he played it, giving his original character a split-personality. Apart from that, Joey had the IQ level of a 4 year old that was sort of funnily endearing. Imagine him not sharing his food and shouting about it. Or the time when he went and got his apartment looted by getting locked in the cupboard by the thief when trying to sell the "Entertainment Unit". Or when he finds about Chandler and Monica and can't tell anyone. Or when he goes and get his head stuck up a turkey on Thanksgiving. Damn I miss the show!!

What Barney has going for him :
The fact of the matter stays that Barney is the pivot around which the whole show of HIMYM hinges and that's what makes my job more difficult and the show more pedestrian. Barney's goofiness is uncannily unlike anyone and for that, I do believe Barney has the upper hand. However, would I rate him higher on the comic-timing scale above Joey? Circumstantial evidence is all we have and based on that, I wouldn't. Would you honestly?? The next part becomes his characterization and herein again, Joey beats him solely on the basis of the support characters he had and what Barney sorely lacks(this is the circumstantial evidence I talked about). A Chandler-Joey altercation would definitely bring me to the "worth-engaging level" and something that even a "Barney-Ted" bonhomie can't. Scripting problems eh??

Joey vs Barney: You're Hired!!
Whose job is cooler and which one would you prefer? A struggling actor/self-proclaimed soap opera "star"/theatre actor who manages to get along or someone like Barney Stinson with his megalomaniac mindset and suit obsession which he can afford by virtue of his job of ummm..what does he do again at GNB??..I go for Barney. Don't blame me. Money is the root of all evils. Not having money the evil itself.

THE LADIES ARENA

How You DOOIN?!!
The single pick-up line Joey Tribbiani used to get girls and boy did it work!! It sure did beat the hell out of any competetion at that time. He has slept with girls and never called them. He has forgotten about girls and met them on the streets and not remembered and hit on them again. He has possibly slept with every single girls in her 20's in NYC. Fine I exaggerated. He has possibly the fluidest of moves when hitting on the opposite sex and he charms them into bed without lying to them.

THE PLAYBOOK
Barney Stinson doesn't play by the rules. He hits on bimbos and he's Armani-clad awesome. He picks up bimbos and then sleeps on them. Bimbos make his world go round and go down and go up. Wise strategy. Only question: Does MacLaren's have this "Bimbo Day" every other day by any chance? I mean yea, Stinson is class with his suave one-liners and tongue-in-cheek wit but the Playbook he uses more often than not, uses in his own words-"scam, con, hustle, hoowink, gambit, flim-flam, strategim and bamboozle to pick up chicks and give 'em the business". I am a sexist yea, but I object to the implication that all bimbos are centred in NYC. But nevertheless, Respect for the bro. Even doing 200 chicks on a show is some serious business and predicates the risk of STD's. Hence, the RESPECT.

CONCLUSION:
2-1. Joey still hold the throne. I know it's time Barney took over and he almost has, but for the extent of sanity, I preserve that "LEGEN-waitforit-DARY" has to wait some more. Drop me a comment. Cheers!!

Of Exe's and Flames..

2011-03-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

"Y-o-u comple-te me-e-e."- Jerry Maguire said to the lovely Dorothy Boyd, his angst and love sweeping across his eyes in the cult classic "Jerry Maguire". That line went down as one of the oft-repeated phrases in the history of our times, a (for the lack of a better word) premonition of the statement "I Love You". There was also one statement which struck me as pure genius in the same movie and the statement was "We live in a cynical world. A cynical, cynical world." The depth of this sentence had more gravitas as compared to what followed and what made half the movie-goers cry and sniff. It was an oxymoron of a sentence and yet, it made sense. No one cares about the world being cynical as long as you complete me. And that in essence conveyed the spirit of the lovely, sometimes digressing but engaging movie "Jerry Maguire".

Which bring us to my title. Of exes and flames. Of love, lust and power games. Of egos, tears and sardonic smile. Of male, female and inherent guile. In this cynical world, a relationship fails to work 7 out of 10 times. The standard reason?? Relationships are built on expectations and expectations are relationship killers. Carnage results the first break-up. Second time mistrust. Third time desperation. You blame the universe for it's conspiracy against you. Life goes on innit?? Let me tell you all folksy about the story of the ex and the flame.

The ex is the past. The flame is the burning past which doesn't let go. Try hard not to cross paths but chances are that you will see him/her somewhere. Some exes are mature enough to be friends while some turn out to be friends with benefits(legen-waitforit-D-A-R-Y). Majority however, are stuck in the warp of love, lust, dislike, hate, mistrust and the biggest of all- Memories. If you chance across her, how would it go??..Here's a short transcript with thought bubbles in italics and actual conversation in bold.

Guy and Girl in the supermarket. A year since they broke up an then, voila!! Guy turns a bend while girl is picking something off the bottom rack. Guy halts

Guy: That looks like her ass. Hang on. That is her ass. That is her. Crap!! RUN. NO. Stay. Just look a bit more. NO. Stay. Run. STAY!!
Lesson 1: A guy will never lose focus. Even in times of impending mental trauma and confusion, his mind is objectively clear about his wants and desires.

Girl turns. Guy turns. Seconds late. She has seen him checking out her posterior.Here, for assumption's sake, let guy be X and girl be Y.

Y: X?..X?..X!!.

Lesson 2: The girl never loses being the equivalent of Muammar Gaddafi in a relationship. She in fact, misses the status quo and tries to set the record straight. Just in case.

X: Hey. Y? Y. Didn't see you. Yeaaah. It wasn't you who I was seeing. That melon could have been anybody's. So how have you been? Long time. No. Don't look down. Look into her eyes dammit!! Not there. No! WOAAAHH!! NAAIICE. I missed you two easter bunnies all right. NO!! IN HER EYES. Yes. Good.

Lesson 3: Clarity of thoughts. Guys think in a linear progression. Predictable.

Y: Been good yea. Look at him. So depraved. Thank God I broke up. Lusting at my back and now right in front. Been caught up in some work so couldn't get through to you. Been wanting to talk to you for quite a while. What a guy. Uff!!!

Lesson 4: Girls were born with the gene of multi-tasking, thinking something and saying something else entirely. Kudos!!

X: Yea right. Was in a relationship with you so I do understand what you actually mean now. What you mean is that you want me back. Ha!! What work? Office or something. EYES Dammit EYES!!..Look
straight.

Lesson 5: Guys can't understand what going on in your mind. For guys, until you break it down, your thoughts and your words are the same. Guys were born without the EQ gene.

Y:Just here and there. Yea Office too. I should get going. Too many thoughts coming up. Listen I gotta go. Wish we were still together. He is still adorable in his innocence. Aaawwww!! Will catch you later. Cya. Bbye.

Lesson 6: Flash from Justice League once tried racing against the oscillation of a girl's thoughts. He lost. So did Rajnikanth.

The last bit was lost on the guy since he was lost somewhere. Just like all of us guys are now and then when it comes to girls. Our ending of 'now' coincides with the beginning of 'then'. Vicious Circle!!

P.S.- Just an observation ladies. Don't get all judge-mental. Drop me a line. Cheerio!!..;)

Concocting A Career.

2011-01-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

I am an engineering student and if history and being vouched for by "word-of-mouth" is anything to go by, engineering students are a frustrated lot. Crazy work hours and asinine professors bent on screwing with your career is the common sight/plight for us. Maybe the medical profession comes a close second with their indelible predicament of studying the human anatomy and whatnot to conquer "MBBS" and then specializing in a field for Masters degree and consequently fighting it out with the "your-friendly-neighbourhood-doc" tag. Yea, it's a tough world out there so we know.

So apart from the most sought after fields which are the godforsaken "Engineer" and "Doctor" tags, we have a host of options like C.A and ummmm, aaaaaa, uuummmmm, hang on. Here's where you come in Mr/Ms. Career Counsellor. In a bloated, claustrophobic environment such as India's where the parents force-feed their kids everything from Complan and Horlicks to H.C Verma and dancing and karate lessons, the child's encumbered by his desires against the rant of a totalitarian society.

A Career Counsellor is the person who sits down with the adolescent and gauges his/her abilities via cognitive ability tests and personality assessment. S/He acts as an intermediary to what the adolescent has and what his active potential could be if harnessed. They most typically have a background in vocational psychology or organizational psychology. Even though this career is still in it's nascent stages in India, there will be an outright increase in the demand for career counsellors as parental pressure fluctuates and children battle it out over career choices that are tailor-made for them and not dictated by the norms and dreams of society and their parents.

Nowadays, as work satisfaction slowly but steadily takes over the desire to climb the corporate ladder at any cost, hordes of professionals are taking the plunge into what they truly believe in, work that they enjoy. For taking such a move, they need expert guidance and a mindset to leave a stable job and jump with or without a 'chute. Here too, career counsellors plays a vital role in categorically breaking down the vital and realistic chances of prancing into that world where they want to be in. A Career Counsellor needs to be well versed and have a clear understanding of aptitudes, abilities and resources so as to realistically assess the chances and prospects in a given line of work while directing someone. The framework within which a career counsellor has to work requires tremendous skill and willingness to learn about a person's strentghs, pros and cons before giving a decision on a career choice.

Otherwise, there will hardly be any difference between the inane astrologer who lets his parrot pick a tarot and the counselor who just charges a bigger amount to decide your future.

Decoy Trojan..

2010-12-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

The art of writing is a tiresome habit of indulgence. Giving sentences coherence can however, become a habit in disguise. However, what occupies my mind currently is the concept of "Wikileaks", "Cosmetic Democracy", "26/11 and Kasab". I would, with my limited rendition of the concept of democracy on the whole, will try to delve into all 3 and link them to the broader spectrum.

It's imperative for us to ask what's idealistic and what can be realistically expected from the government in a democracy. The concept of "By the people, Of the people and For the people" is passe. It wouldn't be far-fetched to assume that each government is motivated sectionally by self-preservation and largely by the incentive of staying in power and this stay in power can only be achieved when civilians believe en masse that the tax they are paying is being used in a manner befitting the stature they are conferred upon when politicians come begging for votes before elections. Anything lower than that would be the country "visible" development and mostly they are ok with that too. Eventuality for any government is to interfere in people's scheme of things and this is where the dichotomy reigns supreme. A good government is said to be the one which governs the least. However, if you don't govern you don't justify your position of power. This is where the concept of a "Cosmetic Democracy" comes in, which I will come to later.

The Ruling government has two fundamental problems at any stage- Expectations of people and "THE OPPOSITION". The last term is what keeps a democracy acutely steadfast in it's portrayal of being a voice of the people. Without a strong opposition, a government's functionality is as good as corroded. Herein again lies the concept of what extent of opposition to a government's policies or acts is really justified or deemed prudent of public view. The catch is that the govenment is accountable and the public is fickle. No amount of semantics can delay the inevitability of a government expose that went a step too far in issues pertaining to security of the nation. That's precisely the reason why a Julian Assange is tormented into submission because his exposition reflects the dark underbelly of secrecy that shrouds half the government field operations.

The concept of Wikileaks has to be handled deftly and with care. Making Assange a scapegoat or targeting him into submission can propel the citizens of the world into thinking him to be a real-life messaih of truth. That is definitely not the case here. What I view is a clear incision between two relatively unconnected plots of Democracy and a riotous exposition of classified documents. There are some things the public is better off not knowing and this is what Assange and his cronies failed to realize. No government in this world is a safe haven for it's bureaucrats and diplomats. Yet, every nation greets it's counterpart with a fake honesty bordering on the obsolete. This is called "International Affairs" and it needs the fake smile and dishonest handshake to keep it from falling into chaos. Wikileaks has disturbed that balance by acting as an unruly "OPPOSITION" which is far from what the public needs to know. An opposition should know what to oppose while Wikileaks simply doesn't understand that concept, giving it a double-edged potency which makes it a cosmetic democracy because the government is powerless to stop the crumbling order.

Heading home, we have a man caught on camera gunning down 166 people with his accomplices. We have a body of evidence against him. We have a "rarest-of-rare" case against him. He should be hanged beyond doubt and this is not an emotional outburst. Yet, we give him a right to appeal against a judicial judgement INSPITE of the fact that the kind of evidence we possess and his own acceptance on camera about carrying out 26/11. Question is, does this beast even have a right to life? Yes he does because we live in a cosmetic democracy parading as the world's largest democracy, A democracy where the people's wants come at the bottom of the ladder. A democracy which is psedo-secular but acts as secular. A democracy of 1.1 billion unable to defend itself.

What is the functional unit of a democracy?
Citizen.
Who is a citizen?
Tax-Payer. Period.

The World As I Know It..

2010-11-26T05:38:00.000-08:00

It's not a perfect world, but it's the only one I have. It's not the pain but the journey that I have. It's not the end but the effort that I have. What do I have? Ghanta. What do I care? Ghanta. Forgive my narcissism for I have devoted 3 lines to my wandering, torn mind. There are times in life when you have a single blocked nose and then there are times when both your noses are blocked. It's called Viral Flu. Apparently, 'they' still haven't found a cure for it but just this morning, I read that 'they' discovered in a breakthrough "that students would rather cheat than study". DUH!! That's such a discovery man. Cure for the world yeah. However, why am I raving on like a lunatic exactly?? Yeah. Just had my mid-semester exams you see.

As I must have mentioned somewhere earlier in my blogs, I don' t like exams. They remind me of everything that's wrong with the world. The pain, the suffering, the misery. No student should be made a model out of for what to avoid being in your life. Yea I agree that if you can't set examples, you could be a decent warning but that's a personal thing isn't it?? Like scratching your crotch in full-public view. A personal thing. Like the T-Shirt the whole world says doesn't suit you but you still wear it 'coz your brother or sister gifted it with his/her first salary. Personal thing.

My college is a gathering for unbridled buffoons who carry the tag of Professors. They are unified in their mental faculties and reasoning capacities. They are men of the world who don't know how the world thinks. Time passed them when they were busy navel-scratching behind the secrecy of their rooms while carelessly marking the graffiti students had scrawled on their answer sheets. Consequently, with their thinning hair and sneer, they resemble almost everything that's wrong with the world. The dredges of human race who would rather sneer than share.

Do I sound frustrated? Comment to let me know on a scale of 1-10..;)
Peace!!

Overdone Stew..

2010-05-17T10:36:00.001-07:00

The consensus is waiting. The house is still divided about the raging caste debate in the Indian Parliament. Caste has to be addressed, according to the "waiting-to-be-uplifted" voice of the nation. The opposition to this Bill says that it's going to set India back by some decades. Casteism, after independence was abolished owing to the forward mindset of the house that thought that such a frivolous and dormant issue such as this has to be kept to stew. And stew it has over the last half a century.

The Bill addresses the issue of a caste divide that exists in India and "maybe" will work towards actually uplifting them.However, what happens to the minorities? Muslims of the secular India. Christians. Buddhists. An overview is required. Caste created barriers, divides across the strata of society according to the forming brains of our Constitution. In an eventful 60 years, amendments were introduced in bits and pieces, some reforming and some restraining, some formative and some plain ones. However, even though no one addresses that castes exist, all it needs for an introspection is to have a look at the matrimonial section of a newspaper. Castes sell, at prices higher than when Adi Sankaracharya bought Hinduism back into vogue, and with it a torrent of luscious parade of Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and Shudras.

If there's a difference in how a person travels, what he eats, how he is addressed and the company he keeps after a time, it's bound that there is a factor that drives. Posto Facto, what is it? Caste. Creed. Religion. What happens when we decide to address the issue and turn our backs to the repercussions of the domino effect it will have? What happens next?

What we need to actually introspect about is the dilemma that faces us in the form of castes right now. And what happens if the government suddenly decides that castes exist well and good and we take them into consideration but no socio-economic improvement for the minorities. What happens next? Kill Bill -III??...;) It's a Catch-22 situation and I don't prefer when we monopolize a side without weighing the pitfalls of the society. However, I also don't like to be in a situation where sidestepping and yet taking a decision is the only viable option left.

Cheers to prosperity!!

Of Happy Certifiable Intoxication..;)

2010-01-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is a sensitive blog, and I had to dig hard and deep to find out a part of me that's as tender as a cooked leg piece of Butter Chicken. Like I said, it's a sensitive blog and most people are just eons away from feeling the raw pull of the gravitational field of my cranky yet soft predisposition. Frankly speaking, I don't even know what I just wrote meant so forgive me and God will forgive you for reading this blog.

Paradoxes exist in life as we all know and no offence to all the voracious readers and intellectual folksy out there because your cerebral capabilities might be more enceinte than the rest of us but the rest are more emotionally capable of handling life's bitter truths than you all are. Well, I don't belong to either of the groups so I'm just a keen observer watching people better equipped and adept and handling life passing me by...;) I don't enjoy it but that's what I'm good at and I plan to turn this handicap into an asset in the future. I don't exactly know how but the moment I figure it out, I'm going to patent it and sell it at a loss to all the ill-equipped people of this world since the intelligent and the emotional will have no need of it. Most probably they will all be frustrated engineers from undisclosed colleges and walks of life.

You know what I have noticed with my limited intelligence and negative IQ test results in hand? Vijay Mallya and ITC live off us man. I mean not ITC optimally but the "Gold Flakes" division is freaking living off us engineers man. So the ITC employees live life "king-size" and Vijay Mallya lives life "pint-size". That's a lot selling sour grapes for a living man. The jackal from the fable of "Jackal and grapes" won't be pleased 'coz he got there first. But just 'coz Vijay Mallya had the resources he beat him to being a billionaire. And the grapes won't be pleased too u know and to this day they are angry coz Mallya uses them without any returns. You know what hangovers are? They are the wrath of grapes essentially at some primitive level...;)

I mean yes, people used to anticipate happiness earlier in life but looking at the skies, expecting the Gods to descend to extend felicity to them. Then, some Homo Sapien(by the way, I do puzzle now and then why we call ourselves that. I mean, not all of us are that you know..;) realized that you can get a better degree of relatively more costly happiness via a bottle of inebriant at the local bar. From here began a condescending journey for the content man who thought the world should share his happiness, and he went shouting in the streets that "thodi si jo peeli hain, chori toh nahin ki hain..zoozoooooyodelliiiyodellleeeyoooo...".The world would patronize the poor helpless man slandering him till the man would pass out of pure happiness, and since the saying goes-"Happiness is short-lived", the man would unfortunately remember zilch of his previous night's happiness and the world would accuse him in the morning 'coz they were all hoarders and had nothing better to do than malign the man with venom and bad names. Cruel cruel world.

I'm not wrong. If you think I'm wrong you are the unhappy one...zooozzooooyodelliyodellliyooooo!!!

HOLMES AND WATSON ARE BACCCKK!!...

2010-01-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

Yea every1..the supersleuth at 221B Baker Street immortalized by his crooked nose and wry demeanour is back with his faithful ally Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's translation to the cinematic medium..and boy do they kick ass!!

Now, I'm kinda partial to Sherlock Holmes. Partly 'coz his investigative capabilities rival only that of Inspector Clouseau's which I'm sure is no comparison at all. What Sir Arthur Conan Doyle so vividly brought to our imagination was that of a man with an intellect so keen that it rebels at stagnation, at the indignation of not being put to use. The frequent drug abuse by Holmes when not confronted with an active brain stimulus can only deeply impress upon the desperation of the sleuth for crime. As Inspector Lestrade admirably puts it in a story when Holmes and Watson cleanly break into a house by picking the lock:-"I fear to think about the possibility of you on the other side of law." and all Holmes does is smile, his wry dry sardonic smile. Such was the connoisseur of crime.

Now, you get the drift that I do like Sherlock Holmes a lot and the expectations will always be kinda loaded if anyone even dares to recreate or attempts to captures Holmes's aura onscreen. However, I decided to go watch the movie without any expectations. I wanted to be pleasantly surprised and yes I did come back with 180 bucks well-spent. Now let me come to the movie. Guy Ritchie is the genre where rock 'n' roll movies are made, movies with pumping adrenalin and geysers of blood spraying out of limbs. Thankfully, this movie of his is layered and restrained, an almost monumental task when thinking about Guy Ritchie's kinda movies.

Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes excels, displaying a class of surprisingly equivocal exhibition of acting, a top-notch credibility last seen from him in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". His interpretation of Sherlock Holmes's antics is vivid, and he displays a rare emotional depth in his scenes with Watson's impending departure from 221B Baker Street to get married to Mary Watson.

Dr. Watson, played by Jude Law is accentually and figuratively British, and Law displays a fine skill of holding back in terms of lambasting Holmes's never ending cycle of crazy experiments. His eyes show a maturity which convey Holmes's and his bond which he perennially breaks and forges, much to the displeasure of his future wife, who incidentally hates Holmes's guts.

A high preference of script is given to the banter between Sherlock Holmes and Watson and the two show a remarkably good chemistry which is a highlight of the movie. Rachel McAdams plays a female vixen, who is commissioned to obtain information from Sherlock Holmes by using him, but falls for him instad. Her deft use of mouth, hands, feet and disposable knives is a tremendous achievment in Victorian era England. The screenplay uses ample special effects to depict 18th century England and succeeds.

The script revolves around Lord Blackwell, played here by Mark Strong who pitches in a decent performance as the shrewd manipulator who practices black magic in a scourging attempt to gain control over the city by rigging the reigning Lords by fear. He partially has success before Holmes thwarts his attempts to reign over the city in a culmination of fist-pumping, throat-ripping sequences that has top-end special effects of a fight sequence on top of the London Bridge under construction in 1880. The ending leaves enough space for the grand entry of Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes's arch nemesis in the forthcoming sequel which promises to pitt Holmes against his adversary in a raging bullfight.

My review is a 3.5/5 for this movie. Go check it out coz the movie's worth it.

P.S.- Don't go looking for Oscar-worthy performances in this movie and you'll do just fine. Remember, for a Guy Ritchie movie, this is a good watch for he has managed to tone it down by quite a few degrees. Go enjoy this enjoyable caper and watch out for the Holmes-Watson bonding.

The Marriage and the symphony.

2010-01-20T04:31:00.000-08:00

Regardless of what I've been through in my public and personal life with the galfolk of this world, I stand undone today. A bizarre mix of heady grass and whiskey aside, I haven't had a sincere and pragmatic laugh in quite a while.

Now fellas, I'm stuck, wrong word, I'm over at a wedding in Calcutta and I am surrounded by girls of all sizes with a common desire- to outdo the bride's dressing herself at the D-Day. The only reason I find it funny is 'coz I have observed their histrionics and I was with coupla guys my age. Oh, n yea we were passing a cigarette amongst ourselves while discussing this phenomenon. However, I will recount my personal observations to the fore. Kindly comment on this blog coz this is a genuinely remarkable phenomenon without any hindrance of race, creed, caste, or colour. And it tickles men of all age to the same degree.

So, the marriage is tomorrow i.e on the 21st of January 2010 at some godforsaken time. Another male lamb will be sacrificed in the holy altar of life and bound to stare at the wall and talk aimlessly in the coming years. However, the mistake has already been committed so let's not dwell on that but go to why the female population loves marriages more than their counterparts.

As I observed, the discussion on wearing clothes started 3 days back in full swing. 2 days back they concluded that they will be wearing clothes. Now came the toughest part, the most momentous task of all, the task which would pale Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay's efforts to scale Everest. "WHAT DO WE WEAR?"- they cry in unison. The cry reverberates throughout the room and we guys shrink back into the darkest place in large room. They might charge at us in their anger for having only 270 dresses to choose from. That's life girls, really unjust. I am only a human being but I can hardly try to delve into this disturbing pattern of unified grief amongst the females for having only just enough dresses to dress up Vatican's inhabitants.

However, they start off with renewed vigour, ticking off dresses as unsuitable for (amongst many reasons)
1.)being too old at 3 months
2.)being a shade too black
3.)can't bring out the colour off my eyes
4.)doesn't match the colour of my new hair shade and mascara which go along fantastically

I'm jaded so I leave. It freaks me out that people have to match eye colours with dresses, bangles, eye shade, lip gloss and footwear. Oh yea, the footwear is a different story altogether. I'm sure I heard a girl complain, crushed, that her 2 weeks old stiletto she bought for the wedding was now unfit 'coz she had seen the same on some other girl. I tried to ask her the logic which connected these two seperate incidents. She glanced at me and giggled away and finally said something which I heard was-"It's wedinbudhuso ehehehe samshoe heeheheh can'tondifrntpeiple hehahaheh..."

I came, I saw, I scampered.

P.S.- Tomorrow's the wedding. Pray for the groom. I did.

P.S.S.- I heard a voice laugh from above. Guess it was Shiva. He was high on Bhang too and was doing tandava . Apparently he thought my request was funny and laughed. I apologise for praying for the groom. Sorry, Shiva.

Sitcoms of life-2

2009-10-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

This is a sequel to the first one which came out waay back. Here's d link- http://arkofconwheals.blogspot.com/2008/12/sitcoms-of-lyf-1.html. Go check it out if u have nothing better to do...;) N this time around, this screwed up blogger will be commenting on the crowds, Diwali and trains. And to save time, we shall put all of them into one nightmarish yet illuminating(in a self-deprecating way) incident that I had recently.

Half an hour into my Genetics lecture on this 14th October, 3.30 PM, I realized that I wanted to go home this Diwali to be with my family. It was frighteningly simple and the implications of that realization frgihteningly complex, say like the desire to attend nature's call and being stuck in a Board of Director's meeting, the results of which will be that either ur bowels are the goner or your career is. In this case, luckily my bowels were not at stake and I have taken Biotech as my career option, so I dare u screw me...;)

I got up, feigned nausea and left the class. This was the simpler bit. I walked into a cyber cafe, took a "Waiting List-24" e-ticket for 3-tier AC that cost me a bomb and went back to hostel. I packed all my stuff into the college bag, slung it over m shoulders n set off by 6 in the evening. Was I insane? Yes. Partly 'coz logic goes out of the window when u are faced with two things- raging testosterone overdrive and a raging girlfriend.

I reached at 8 and found that my briliant "get-home-scheme-in-36-hours" was illegal, invalid and unauthorized. I couldn't board the train without a confirmed e-ticket and I had none. My adrenalin all high, I boarded the train without a ticket. Now, here's the pitfall(s) I didn't count for :-

1. The train was abnormally crowded, imagine all the girls in this world finding out that Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are up for sale and bidding will be done for only 3 hours. Compare the waiting list to the server speed. The WL had gone upto 322 and then the rail authorities stopped the booking.

2. In this Great Indian Diwali Season, the minimum bribe costs 1000 bucks. With cops, it can go upto 5000.

3. People smell and stink in a boiling train moving across the divides of mid-terrain of this hot country. And itches do take place in the most objectionable places, help it or not.

4. You do need to sleep. No matter whatwe do during exams, we need sleep for atleast 5 hours...;)

5. Wailing babies go home during diwali too. And infants do pee n poo in their pants and the smell isn't exactly the le pleasante eau de toilette.

The train departed at 10.15 on the 14th night.

14th Night 10.20 PM-

Scene- 1

I sleep on someone's seat for almost an hour while he checks, re-checks n re-re-checks his ticket. He finally asks whether this is my seat. I stand up cockily and say No. He chucks me out of his seat.

Scene 2-

By 12.30 my legs are aching due to searchin for a place all across the train. People are lying hithereto and thereto and abovetoo and downtoo and sidetoo. I trample legs and hands in my search for a seat. I have no luck. I open a door and sit on the sill for an hour. Time passes comatose as the same scenery and rhythm passes by again and again. Darkness pierced by far-off lights. Darkness again. It almost lulls me off to sleep on the edge of the open door. It's desperation time, I realize grimly. I close the door, and go sleep near a guy whos lyin on a newspaper and bed sheet near a door. He adjusts his kind ass and lets me sleep. I finally fall asleep at 3 at night.

Scene 3- I am forced to wake up at 6 in the morning. By none other than a bunch of eunuchs straddling their threatning stuff for cash. Someone has slapped me lightly on the head I realize drowsily.

"Ai Raaju..dena.." Sound of clapping. Only it's no applause and no music to the ears either.

I force my eyes open after the third time. I vaguely see them. I say "Fuck Off".

They don't understand the lyrics but do get the gist of what I'm telling them to do. And yeah, it doesn't exactly please them.

"AIII RAAAJU!! ZYASTI MAT BOL...DETA HAIN KI UTHAUN??...

I say "Go have sex with yourself." and turn back to get some shut-eye. Only problem is that I don't get any. S/he is clamberin across the crowd of people to me. I panick so fast that a 10 Rs note flies off my hand as if I can mint money from hands. My sleep and money are both taken away from me in a cruel instant. I get up and wash my face. It's the first time that day.

15th October, 11.30 AM

I somewhere read a phrase as a kid on how to express a simile for packed things- "Packed as tight as a box of sardines." This later gave way to -"Packed tighter than the economy section of a Boeing-747." Going further with my story:

The heat is intolerable in the midst of 120 yapping humans inside a single compartment. The only respite is the AC compartments where I can't go and the big tankers having ice in the Pantry Car where I can't dunk my head into. I go wash my face for the seventh time since morning. I drink water like a famished UNICEF refugee from the train vendors.

2.30 PM afternoon:

I still don't have a seat and decide to wander like the lost. With only my backpack for company, I travel across the breadth of the train twice and finally between AC-II tier compartment. The passage is cool owing to the influx of cold winds from the AC-I tier and III tier. I thank the Lord and settle down.

2.45 afternoon:-

I curse the Lord and get up as a TC comes in. His smug and oily face gets an uplift when he sees me.

"Ticket?"-he enquires.

I produce my e-ticket which is so very invalid.

"This isn't valid."- he says through a layer of greasy happiness.

"Dude I want a ticket. How much?"-I had to appear confident if I wanted to save my ass n cash.

He likes being called dude. At 40 and a bun-sized bald spot on his head, anyone would appreciate the subtleties of flattery.

"Student eh?"

"Yea. Goin home for diwali dude." Damn I overdid it. The word "Diwali" bought him back to his senses so fast I didn't know what hit me next.

"That'll be 1500 Rs." - he said smoothly.

I tripped on his words. "How much?"- I asked wide-eyed.

"1500 Rs."

I recovered well. Too well. "You have an ATM card machine in trains? 'Coz I don't have that much in cash." Hell yea I was cocky.

"No but we have a special feature in our trains that helps us in throwing people off it. It's called The Chain. Would you like a demonstration?" Well-said. I almost applauded.

"I have 700 bucks man." I said in a panicky voice.

"I don't have time. Besides, I have an incentive for you. You can yourself pull the chain and get down. Nice na?"

"1000. Last and final."

"1500."

"Where's the chain?"- I said, taking my cockiness to a new level.

"1000 done."- the TC agreed.

Bingo-ding-ding-ding...Haha..Yipppeeee. I mentally hi-fived myself. Not bad huh??..

"So where's the seat dude?"- I guffawed and walked towards AC.

He looked at me as if I was barking mad.

"What?"-I said instinctively.

"Firstly, seat is in Sleeper coach. Second, you get it after Nagpur. Thirdly, I'll still show you the chain just in case it's not a deal."

The happiness fizzed out like a defective suspense plot of a B-grade Kollywood movie. I panicked again.

"1000?"- I stammered.

"Then what? You think you get an AC seat during Diwali season for 1000 bucks? What are u? Super-nuts or somethng?"

I eventually paid him 1000 bucks for a wasted seat which I got only fr 12 hours outo which I spent 7 sleeping on.

You know what the morale of this story is??

P.S.- Screw the morale but gimme some cash man.

P.S.S.- Saying:-

A fool and his money soon part ways.

A modified saying:-

An adrenalin charged emotionally driven cocky man with crazy tendencies of split-decision personality disorder and utter nonsensical blogging habits soon parts his ways with money.

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Jamming with God...;)

2009-08-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

Artistic pleasure and creativity are a sacred breed in today's world as I found out much to my dismay coupla days back. If u have a wave of rebellious and flawed sense of humour, it makes ur work even harder as a trying-to-be-funny-writer. More so if u have a sister who can find an artist's blemish in a Picasso, a friend who thinks that ur a dumb nutcase with a chasm-wide understanding of how and what is to be said where and when and lastly, if u are me...;)

Well, disclaimers aside , I think my last blog was funny. Sadly, the people I came across piggybacked my descriptive wit and told me to write something better cooked and served, and not how and when I proudly announced my father to be a piano player in a whore house and my (almost) escapades. I was hurt. And I decided to jam with God over this. Yea don't blink allright. U read it right. I had a well-nutritioned discussion with God(yea, the Chetan Bhagat one. Just not that serious. I guess he was in some Bruce-Almighty phase or something.)

So yea , I was reflective this Sunday, sitting alone and mulling over world affairs. God came suddenly, and sat next to me. I was hardly surprised by his arrival. U c, I considered myself important enough since childhood to warrant a trip from God himself.

God:- So Arijit, say how's it going?.

Me:- Everything's ok mate. Just thinking about the world and all. The happenings going on.

Dunno why at this point God slyly arched his eyebrows when he looked at me. Slowly, he let out a crooked grin.

God:- World eh? U know who u r lying to? U were just thinking about ur life...

Me(defensively) :- Well yeah. When did I say my world doesn't revolve around me?...

God(sheepishly):- Oh yeah that's true man. Sorry I misinterpreted. And ur thinking that ur life sucks eh?..

I looked at this guy. He was middle-aged. Not a white hair on his body like those cheap mythological TV serials. He was dressed in a crisp linen white shirt and a pale blue jeans. His soft hair looked windswept, as if he had just paratchuted into my room. Well maybe he had. I just didn't give it much thought. Apparently, this was one cool God. I wondered if I could use a profanity.

God grinned - "Well, u can though I wouldn't appreciate it u know. There are certain customs that ought to be followed. Swearing in front of your elders isn't that up in my list but then again, u r some1 who u r. So it's upto u kid." He smiled. It was beatific, an all-knowing grin. This was really cool man.

Me:- Thanx Sir-

God:- "Don't "Sir" me. I'm allergic to it."

I stalled. I strained my brain for a topic. Nothing came. "What do u mean when u said that? I am who I am? What was that?"

God looked thoughtful just for an instant. Then he said-" U r a puzzle Arijit. Well, all of us are. Even me. I'm a puzzle for people out there who have to figure me out for themselves. U r a puzzle which u hv to figure out for yourself. There are people in this world who throw in the towel just coz there's no way out. Trust me when I say this but there's always a way out--

I had to interrupt him. "That is pure crap. Forgive me I just swore but u know what?. U have made this cryptic but there's no reason for that. Innocent people have no reason to die just 'coz they have been caught in the crossfire. It's one thing to say Karma and quite another to actually get a life out here . U deny that?..."

God smile again. It was innocent. " I like fire son. U have fire. We all do. It dies out. U know why?Situations. Circumstances. Ethics. It' s jungle that I have created out there. You can accuse me of partiality son but never accuse me of injustice. I have my ways. They are class and they work. That's why I still have the job kid." He gave a goofy grin and continued-"Sacrilege is acceptable for otherwise you'll never realize what u have lost. You need to cry. Not coz that imbibes faith in the Almighty and makes u realize you are nothing but a mere vulnerable insect in the scheme of my things. No. You need to cry just to make sure u never cry about the same reason twice. Yes people are dying out there. It never makes me flinch. You want to know what does?" He stopped.

I stared, held captive by the charm. He was charismatic, a strange mix of the euphoric and an effervescent craze. I nodded lightly.

He continued-"People are commiting suicide out there man. Why? Low grades. Lost love. Debt. That makes me flinch of what I have created. It makes me want to send a catastrophe out here. Maybe then people will realize what they are shoving around. Life isn't a commodity you bargain for death. Always remember that Arijit."

Heavy. It was heavy. Yet, this guy sitting next to me made sense. But time was up. I didn't realize it yet.

"Do you know why you are talking to me now?"-God asked.

I had no clue. I mean, come to think of it I actually had no clue AT ALL. I was an atheist after all. I was sure he knew that. So why me of all people in this universe?

I negated. "Dunno"- I said.

He grinned. " I saw a T-shirt couple of days back. U know what it said?"

I negated again. I was almost a rag doll in front of him now. I was doing his bidding. Of the guy I pretty much hated. Of someone I didn't believe in.

"I was an atheist until I realized I was God." The smile was child-like, captivating.

Then it was gone. Nothing. I dropped to the the bed, swaying as a heavy mist of sleep clouded me. I hadn't asked him any questions. He had not given me answers. Yet, I found some answers. Somewhere. I had to figure out my puzzle myself. That was what I was meant to do. And God was within me.

Or some shit of that kind, I thought as I lulled off into a dreamless, seamless sleep.

If this was true...;)

2009-07-31T22:41:00.000-07:00

Vote for me now! Blogomania 2010 sponsored by Odyssey360 The 24 hour online book store with 5 milion books to choose from.

P.S.- If you are a regular reader, you are probably used to the occasional epiliptic epiphany of mine which is sometimes more than not followed by bursts of "intellectual"(acc. to me..;) scenario in which real gives way to the hypothetical and a whacko blog comes forth that is unbelievable to the hilt. However, if you are new here, read further and expect nothing coz the truth has given way a "bit" to hypothetical again...;)

There are things in life, some of them which leave a sour taste in the mouth. Sometimes the tastes remain and sometimes the tide of time turns into a grin of reminiscence. This blog is about those times and what if scenario. Don't bail out now...;)

1. Somewhere back in the days there was a kid, let's say kinda like me. Now, i am not saying that it was me. It's hypothetical remember. There was a teacher in his class who used to teach them English. Once, the kid's answer was shot down by the teacher as incorrect. Now the kid thought his answer was correct but the teacher was just jealous that the kid could beat him in his subject. The pupil began to hate the teacher and just to annoy him, would give the weirdest of answers in class. Just to piss him off, mind you.

One fine day, the teacher thought the class kids should learn the art of speaking in public and he asked them, one by one, to tell the class briefly what their parents did. Now, that one kid thought he will piss his teacher off here as well. He waited, and waited, and waited for his turn. His turn came. He went to the front of class, the whole class looked expectantly and the teacher looked on patiently. With a crooked goofy grin, he said-" Hi. My dad plays the piano in a whore house."

Now, what followed next was an inarticulate silence from the teacher that wiped the grin from the kid and the innocence from the class. When the kid returned home and was asked by his mother why he had finger marks all over his little cheek, he shrugged and said -" Creativity Mum. It's not appreciated any more."

Yes. The kid survived to the tale. Oh, I mean tell me the tale. Sorry about that. All hypothetical remember.

2. There was once another guy, now in his teens, around 15. Assume it to be someone like..yeah, you know the answer you brainy gits...;) Assume remember. And in this case, it's even more important that i stress it's all assumption. So one day this guy was walking down the street one foggy January night and he felt the need to relieve himself. Yea pee. Right. So he chose a deserted corner of the billions available in this part of the world and went ahead. What he ddn't notice was that a man had followed him for some time. As the guy finished and turned back on his way, the man approached the satiated guy.

"Sir."-the man called.

The guy looked back, saw the man and looked around. He had never been called "Sir" before. He wanted to be sure before telling his friends.

"Who me?"- the guy asked moronically, like a dumb nitwit whilst he should have shown confidence at havin been called "Sir". Maybe that was the reason what happened next. He never found out though.

The man approached closer in that freaking foggy night. It was cold. The man came closer till he stopped face to face.

"It's very cold Sir."- the man said.

"Yea. And I'm sorry I don't have any money if thats what you want."- the guy was blunt.

"No no no. U misunderstand me Sir. I don't want cash. Infact I can give u money if u want."- the man offered.

"Really?"-the teenagers eyes were pickedly lecherous.

"Yea. Tell me. Are u open to sexual experimentation?"

The guy ddnt want the money that bad. He ran off like a hooker in a police raid. And he had to wait 1 more year before someone called him Sir again. That was when he went to open his bank account. He felt depressed at being called Sir. Till date he has never peed in public again.

Oh yeah by the way, he's completely normal and straight. Any cute chick interested in talking is most welcome. Post a comment and I'll give u m no. I mean his no.

Till the next time when the hypothetical rises again.

Adios.

Astalavista. Take Care.

P.S.- And someone tell me someone reads this blog. Otherwise I'll delete it and commit suicide. All hypothetically of course...;)

Oh Calcutta!!!....

2009-06-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

Here's d discalimer fellas...if ur true blue die-hard rosogulla hoggin phuchka loving bong browbeater outside d human realms of humor den read furthr...;)...coz u c i luv d rxn of bengalis wen dey r confrontd wid d cons of calcutta...trust me evn if i went out wid a hot bong chick i wuld go slambang abt calcutta to gt her xpressions...for,u c u can take a person outta bengal bt u cnt take d bengal outta person...i vil leave out a lot of d real bengal coz i dnt hv d amputted frame of mind to covr it succintly...so here goes;)

Calcutta frst thngs frst ain't d "City of Lights"...d brevity of existing life out here is a contrast 2 a million color Sony Bravia...D paradox of Calcutta being calld "City of Lights" is somwat lyk callin Mumbai "Slumber Paradise"...or callin Delhi "Mild Intoxication"...fr Mumbai isnt slumber paradise n Delhi isnt mild...nw dat u hv gt dat straight n goin lets head in2 Oh Calcutta!!!...;)

Out here, d local lingo is d one u catch on a bus as u hop on frm Howrah Railway Station to ur destination...d slangs of d irritated driver n d irksome conductor r encoded in lyf by tongue-in-cheek wit...in different states dere r signs on d bus:-
aamchi Mumbai- dont talk to d driver...
saddi Delhi- please refrain from talkin to d driver...
namma Bangalore- ur requested not to talk to d driver...
n in aamar Calcutta-do not answer d driver...;)
as d driver maneuvers d rickety bus thru d umpteenth pothole n d millionth crowded street, every single passenger vil comment smtym or d oder-"daao bus ta ami chalai...nahole kal baadi pounchobo...(lemme drive u git oderwise v will reach home tommorrow)"...out here every1 of d passengr is an xpert hand at navigating thru d streets apart frm d two persons actually meant to...;)

Till day i hvnt met one typical bengali relative who wuldnt dole out advice free...n d range is vividly despairing...if i ws suffering frm a headache d possible explanation wuld b provided wid a furrowed eyebrow..."dunno bt i think hangover maybe...in case of an accident in which i ws ridin pillion..."u know wat??...dis kid is a real brat...y do u evn give him ur keys??...i cnt understand y u wnt to kill ur own son...u c wen my son raja ws small he bla blah blah blah..."

I remembr i used 2 despair wen sm of my aunthentic bengali relativs came ovr...dey wuld b one ounce of iron clad wisdom rolled in a rickety body which wuld go in2 hibernation if dey evr came in cold or heat...if dey did come durng peak cold i wuld wait eagerly to hv my revenge...wid deir cracking feet n complaints of faridabad bein toooooo cold for human survival, dey wuld flick on d heater n dig deep inside deir blanket burrow n go to sleep...one or two at nyt, i wuld creep up, switch off d heater n put on d fan at max...gute neight...;-P

Calcutta grls r d salvage...dey are howevr whr beauty lies in its true meaning...i hv seen delhi grls n bangalore grls...mumbai grls nt yet bt if beauty cuteness pretty watevr ws to b compared clcutta grls wuld beat dem hollow...lyk dey r beautiful wid most havin soulful eyes...n brains yea...;) As i said dey r d salvage fr a city dats coping undr d cloggage of past n d future, binded by d picnic of politics in d ugliest possible way, of a city strugglin to retain its glory of d past, of a city dats weighd down by d baggage of old blood n poltical excreta whr d young blood is wired flesh, blood n bone in2 d sick game of double handling undr d table cld politics...

Sad??...I'll leave dat to u 2 decide..

the reluctant relocator...;)

2009-06-19T06:36:00.000-07:00

As i hv told u all earlier as well, d part of world i live in(read Tumkur) is an alien inhabitation of d most sci-fi humanoids...dis is most probably d place where d Extra Terrestrial from Steven Spielberg's flick came frm in his blockbuster "E.T"...n in his latter "War of the Worlds" i think d psyche blood suckin aliens were d college profs out here...no joke fellas...i"ll tell u jst hw i came to dis conclusion...

Discrimination is smthng m sure every1 hs faced in his lyf smtym or d oder...b it sibling or class or d chick u hd a crush on...every1 hs bin discriminatd smtym or d odr in his lyf m sure...howevr out here d worlds divided into two parts fr dese abracadabra supposedly human beings...n dat is localiites(read tumkur-born) n n rest of d world...

Now, wen i ws new here d frst ques i ws oftn askd by m profs ws "where r u from?"...n d innocent(metaphorically guys...;) me wuld always reply d honest answer-"Faridabad sir." If d prof raised a quirky eyebrow i'd helpfully add-"Haryana sir. NCR region. New Delhi."...Dat "New Delhi" wuld clinch d deal fr me...he wuld move on...howevr, i also met bigoted, partial, intolerant psyches of profs who wuld sneer 1ce dey heard adt "Faridabad..."dis happnd lots of tyms n even though m one guy whu tries to think logically n reasonably, i resisted d invitin temptation to take a long rod made of rusted iron n shove it up deir ass...

Newayz during lab externals, d frst ques ur askd is "Whr r u from?"...if u happen to say ur nt a localiite, den god-save-u...howevr, a frnd of mine ws treatd real bad, in an unjustifiable way coupla days back...d level of biased prejudice he hd to face one he answrd his native as Jamshedpur ws soggy even by Ekta Kapoor teleserials...

Dis set me thinkin...n i responded back durin my extrnal(finally, even though i hd bin wntin to hash back at dem fr quite sm tym) wen d anticipated question ws askd frm me...dis is kinda hw it went off:
Xtrnal- hmmm...so where are u from??...
Me- LOC...
Xtrnal-where is dat??...
Me-at d fringing periphery of india on d verge of saturation sir...
Xtrnal- nvr heard of it...which state??...
Me- right now its in war state sir...
Xtrnal-waaar state??...waat maaaan??..india hs 28 states...nvr heard of dis state...wat r u sayin man??...where is it??...
I tuk pity on d alien and broke it down to him...
Me-Indo-Pak border sir...LOC...line of-...
The xtrnal ddnt let me finish...he muttered d last word, his face an ashen mix of rotten plum and greasy soft blackcurrant...
Xtrnal- Control??...Line of Control??...The Line of Control??...u mean THE loc??..
I smiled...warmly, smugly, almost invitin him ovr to my place fr tea n sm fresh mortar shells...The friggin piece of lop-sided guts panickd...
Xtrnal- ok. ok. go. ur viva is ovr...ur free to leave...
Me-sure sir??...ok sir..
Next 15 mins he kept talkin to our internal teachr b4 he coldly calld me n tuk my case fr around 14 mins, badgerin me wid questions abt d geographical location of d LOC to y in C- Programming d formatted input output functions are called formatted...;)

P.S.- i njoyd dose 3 mins...if in duress, turn d tables...

P.S.S.- jst make sure ur nt around aftr u turn d tables...cheers;)

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End-Sems n d tirade within...

2009-06-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hullo folks...m back after a hiatus...movin on wid d musings of my life my topic as u supremely intellignt creatures must hv al gathrd by now is anothr cry against d existin system n some creative insights to bring about a change dt will make d country great n proud of engineers n indigenous offsprings lyk us...;-)fairly long shot i wuld say rt now...;)

END-SEMS...the dread seeps thru like some archaic poison, wreakin havoc on my system n most of u all as wel i guess...n mine is from dis thursday...so pray fr me evry1...;)so wt m sayin is y d heck do we need exams in dis country to prove our mettle eh??...tell me one great man who ws d outcome of shithead profs coated wid assignment sheets n i vil show u a loser...wow nice line no??;)...newayz pt is dat dis country deserves better dan moronic drones who make it deir sole job to mug up crap n den puke it out in exams...wheres d creativity??...whrs d freakin guts to glory??..all dis is is a slugfest whr d biggest mugger wins...a race to death whr no1 knows wat is whose n wat he needs...i remarked about dis inversely symbiotic relationship before in my blog...if u hvnt seen it yet chck it out @- http://arkofconwheals.blogspot.com/2009/01/im-backk-n-2days-diatribe-u-all-will.html and http://arkofconwheals.blogspot.com/2008/10/beauty-of-college-lyf-isnt-d-melancholy.html

as d great Sherlock Holmes 1ce said on havin been found guilty of nt knowin abt d solar system-"a clever craftsman knows exactly wat he needs...so he wont fill his head wid d stuff he doesnt...fr wen d tym comes to pick d rt stuff, all dat he needs is lost in d junkyard dat is his
brain now"...wen Watson remarks bemusedly-"bt d solar system??"..."It wuldnt make a pennyworth of difference to me n my work if we went around d moon instead of d sun"...;)

however dis isnt fiction n d 18th century...dis is life in d 21st century...whr i cn snoop in2 ur account to know hw much cash u hv in ur banks...so wt m saying is dat education isnt half as important as d life in real world..as Oscar Wilde said memorably-"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught..." he was a sly head, an amalgam of sarcasm n wit wid his brilliant nonchalance thrown in...heady stuff indeed...

I am indebted to dis college fr teaching me in 1 year itself wt i dnt want...i dnt want to b a jerk wid buks as my soulmates, a walkin drone who cn work his ass off fr somethng he doesnt luv n like...an engineerin studnt who ddnt flunk atleast 1ce...;)...

SIT i thnk u from d pit of my heart to teach me wat i dnt want to be in my life...thanku my profs n teachers...thanku...may u get u twice d pleasure u gave me...;)

P.S.- sad blog??...i know...;)

metrosexuality n anthropology...;)

2009-04-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

so here's d thing...coupla days back i went out of dis ultra supergalactic intra spectacular fantabulous super cosmopolitan wonder city Tumkur to Bangalore(no i dnt call dem by deir new names...)...n i observed dis phenomenon cld "metrosexuality" sweeping across...mayb its jst dat day wen i thot all d guys decided to wear pink n act gross...mayb not...who knows??...i hv always struggled to come 2 terms wid "metrosexuality"...call me of d old school mayb n i wont care bt wat i find amusing r men who wear body-huggin tees in baby pink...mayb m sexist bt u'd already kno dat if u follow my blog...mayb i belong to d stone age n nt d 21st century...

Dictionary.com defines metrosexuality as"Metrosexual is a neologism generally applied to heterosexual men with a strong concern for their appearance, or whose lifestyles display attributes stereotypically seen among gay men. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of gender deconstruction and its associations with consumerism. The word was coined as a tongue-in-cheek play on "homosexual"..widout delving in-depth, i call dem guys wid alternative sexual prefrence...

yea i accept it m nuts to b writin dis bt Bangalore(n Garuda mall, Brigade n MG in particular) seriously gt me thinkin...is it d well-groomed man (dats open to interpretation u know...;) who's subject to d ridicule n slandering of being calld a dandy nt allowd to take care of his nails n eyebrows since initially it ws thot of as a woman's job??...or is it jst dat girls r playin power games in order to keep d upper hand in d ever-going battle of sexes??...wat is it??...is sharing d bill unchivalrous n unmanly or is paying d bill sexist??...is hygiene important or is pluckin out a monobrow metrosexual??...post ur opinions...

n hv i gone crazy??...u betcha...;)

kudos to d lord...

2009-03-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

dis(acc. to me) is a disclaimer - fr those who cant appreciate satire or humour in its raunchy form kindly dnt read fr u might jst constipate on d hogwash dat'll follow dis...

college fests r an unholy matrimony heaven n hell, whr d beauty of heavens descend down upon us in deir mortal form n d beasts of hell cut loose to gawk(i hope u gt my drift...;-)...girls r beautiful no doubt n some girls r more so, which acc to me is d severest means of discrimination by nature...no wt m saying is by no means chauvnistic n hear me out b4 u call me a "^$%*#%*&!"...nw acc to charles dickens(fr dose who dnt know him he ws a prick n fr dose who do know him, i think he ws a prick;-) so dis white-beard nerd proposed dat nature always works out everything acc to d best possible option available n d fittest shit on d planet survives...

nw superman might hv bin frm krypton bt i doubt whether d man of steel ddnt go thru puberty n hd freckles or ddnt gt tongue-tied talkin to louis lane...nw he wanted to live as "clark kent" is a diff matter altogthr, mayb he wntd to pursue celibacy fr all i know bt wt m sayin is dat mayb, jst mayb if dicken's theory ws true, nature wuld hv workd out dat all red-blooded men gt attractd to beautiful women n churned dem out dat way in droves...so mayb dickens(shit!!...dat ws a mistake) theory is all chicken-shit n i'll tell u xctly hw i came to observe dis interesting piece of completely useless jaywalking dat i did n u shuld avoid...

so yea v hv dis collg fest in a coupla days n d balls hv strtd rolling(nw dat ws a stinky joke wsnt it??..;-) n guys being guys r looking everywhr meanin dey r hvin a field day...nw as i said i ws jaywalking(dats a term jay leno gave birth metaphorically...it means walking aimlessly n observing shit thngs people do n finding humour in dose idiotic things)...so dese 2 grls walk past by n wt dese 3 guys do r check dem out in d primitive way(i think its my subjugate duty to inform u dat in dis case primitive means- "not subtle";-)...n dese grls r so completely aloof as if dey r unaware of oder existing species on dis planet...d guys hv goggled n dey move to d next thing...nw i ws walking behind dem n dis is wat ws d rxn of d grls...i tried hard nt to eavesdrop bt sweet audible voice is always unfilterable...

grl 1(thru d side of hr mouth n almost bristling) : dose guys chckd me out??...luk at dem...deir guts...scoundrels...

grl 2(speakin in a funny way) : no dey ddnt...

grl 1(nw indignantly) : yes dey did...i saw dey did...

grl 2(luks at grl1 n archs hr eyebrows) : ok...

grl1(giggles suddenly n infuriatingly hard) : dey did ddnt dey??...

grl2(luks ahead n a twitch on d left side of her face, mayb smiling) : yea dey did...

grl1 cnt contain hr unappeasable excitement n breaks in2 a song hum in 10 seconds flat wid an almost unnoticeable spring in hr step....

i'm boggled so i stay back n try 2 think about d mechanics of d female mind...i cnt so i come n write dis blog....cn sum1 pls explain wt transpired to dis lost blogger??;-)...

Jason Bourne...;-)

2009-03-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

my frnds cant stand me wen i talk about Jason Bourne n here's d worst part, dey dont understand enough to dislike him...u c, i hv read d bourne, no make dat -"The Bourne Trilogy"...;-) some 12 times n i find d tormenting haunts of bourne's mind incredibly alluring...his is a journey in2 d violent n torturous maze of hell widout a past memory...a clean sheet where fragmented bits of writing are bolted by words, actions n intutions...a world where d imbalance of insanity n reason are lost in a time warp...n he lives on instinct...d fractionating deviation b/w life and death is eroded by animalistic primitivity, dat of a hunted animal's...

his hand-to-hand combat is cruelly superior to d best, a lightning fast array of moving hands n bludgeoning feet dat crash in shoulder blades n abdomen, surging granite hard slabs of palm dat cudgel into throat n hands dat break bones widout effort...insanity be thy name...his is a story of convoluted proportions, he wanted death n he ws born again, his past a blank, his bullet riddled body fished out of the Mediterranean Sea, a bank code surgically embedded in2 his hip...he has no name n he sets out to find his past, a past dat sends him reeling in2 d darkest realms of violence n blood-coated grime ever known...

robert ludlum, d author of d books(fr dose who r aliens on dis planet...;-)creates an effervescent character whose bleeding pain n torturous journey through d darkness imbibes heart-racing moments, violent n crimson colour action in n magnificient n enriching in detail adds pulse-pounding thrill to this psychological action suspense thriller n makes it a covetous read...Jason Bourne casts a spell dat is eternally infallible n takes u on a journey dat makes u hold ur breath as he alone pulses his way thru d dark labyrinthe of his past life, dodging bullets, automatic weapon wielding assassins n CIA itself where every1 wants him dead, a bullet hole smeared between his eyes...

who is Jason Bourne???...

the answer may kill him.

N now fr all d Bourne fans, heres my frst edited video...check it out n comment...heres d link...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvvKBduyQM8

pls do comment on hw it was...till den adios...cheers...;)

reclusive teacher...

2009-03-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

blogging(which in my case hs escalated) is smthng i pickd up frm a frnd...dis frnd of mine is a purist of undefined inclinations...his heart n soul rests in a way linear to how his sentences r arranged...his earliest criticism of my blogs ws dat "u dnt write english bt nonchalance"...bamboozled by dis bizzare point i askd fr elaboration...he grunted lyk a sore-ass yak of d highlands-"jst luk at d way u write will u??...its all tipsy, as if d words got drunk n starched out in d sun..."

now m no einstein bt it ws d second tym in as many minutes dat his words seemed to brutally escape my feeble senses...mentally i thot of going n takin an IQ test bt in d physical world i broke it down to him dat i ws asking d criticism to b elaborated n nt whether he ws doing freelance work fr oxford dictionary...he scrunched up his face airily n rotated his right wrist loosely lyk a nobel laureate about to denounce d theory of relativity...i waited patiently lyk d true scholar awaitin d thesis frm d horse's mouth dat vil shake d world...it came smthng lyk dis, his voice a cleat of a masterful prodigy-"u c, ur thoughts r in a spiralling horizon of acerbic emptiness which wen u bring out resembles d awesome stillness of an empty colosseum...d beats r remarkably loud bt d essence is missing...d essence of d true depth..."

his face ws so writ wid explanation dat i culdnt bear to tell him dat his denouncement of einstein's theory ws hogwash n d most creative bullshit ever...instead i told him dat i got d point(even though dere wsnt ne...;-)...he relaxed back in 2 his chair n dis tym grunted lyk a yeti of d himalyas n i finally got wat he ws tryin to tell me-"so u c u shuld write english lyk its properly written...capitals aftr a full stop, commas wen a pause, no acronym, no "dat" instead of "that"..."

i lukd at him...mayb i ws too incredulous to speak n d expression came out a bit too harsh bt dunno y he scarpered frm d spot...

reverse dreaming...

2009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

The dreary existence of our forsaken selves r misplaced n mismatched to d hilt in dis inverted world...my friends of late hv bin bearing d brunt of wat dey say is my "cynical n sarcastic" best...my profs come to class n announce in a monodrone voice of a whooshing vaccuum cleaner-"ariiijiiiiiiiit(d i's r longer pertaining to my non-visibility in classes of late n d i's continue till some kind(perverted...) soul ends his/her search by declaring my burrow located deep in d corner of left hand side last bench...n as dey say- d buck stops dere...

jokes r cruelly tipped off by d haunting aura of nonsensical blabber dat keeps emanating from my mouth(n in dis case my fingers...)which in turn find solace in some distracted frnd's ears(m sure dat my words dnt inject nethng remotely gud oderwise some ppl wuld hv bin bound long ago)...noder thing m sure about is dat my "cynical" humdrumming dat my frnds hv brought to my recent & reticent notice fr d past days has in fact bin bred nt by my atrocious fate as i hv smtym said bt by my acceptin of situations...i smtyms feel lyk bttr prepared nowadays...case in example is wen i reach out fr my purse aftr having d disgusting bhelpuri n find to my close observation dat its empty...it has also come to my latest notice(courtesy my kind friend biswajeet) dat d sky isnt blue 'coz of science bt 'coz of sins...

cynical??...says who??...

my life was never d humour laden platinum spoon(which by d way i ws born wid....or was i??...newayz) dat i hv bin cradling(n drooling all over..) while trying vainly (or ws it valiantly??..) to gt straight (nt d metaphorical sense mind u...) in lyf...christ m confused ain't i??...n my profs say dat m getting worse..."worse dan who??" -i ask plaintively, my mind drawing a blank...i get a stare dat says- "very funny young man"...bt were it funny dey'll b laughing won't dey??...

n while i count stars at night somedays(sleep seems to b escaping me wen i need her d most) i cn c a face up dere...i blink my eyes...yea i ws hallcinatin i realize...bt den i frget d stars n try to c d face again...i strain...i push...hard...i cn make out...bt its faint...n den it vanishes...

u know d thing about hallucinating dnt u??...it's bare...

P.S-god bless u...

word's worth...;-)

2009-03-01T05:25:00.000-08:00

JAN 2nd 2009, 4.15 a.m, Tumkur...

It was a chilly, decrepit winter night, d cold waning as d night reluctantly released d clutches of darkness over dis part of d world. 3 guys lay prone on 3 diff. beds of a hostel. Insomnia was at it's peak, controlling us n we had run out of topics to discuss... & at 4.15 dat nyt we 3 geniuses decided to write smthng, precisely speaking- a poem. One gave up in minutes. Me n d oder soldiered on...

20 mins later, i had had enough of his sniggers n threw my half-written poem at d lazy bum who had given up, challenging him to complete my absurd train of thoughts dat hd(amazingly...;-) culminated in2 smthng remotely resembling a poem...he accepted n i proudly present....

The Last Spring

The world has fallen,

Angst of the sigh still unseen,

Beneath the darkened wing,

I still await the last spring...

Ripped is the pain, the tremors vacantly lean,

Away from it all, cries the child from his mother weaned,

Rusted is the love, the hope few n far between,

Lasting are the cries, d scars raw yet clean,

And yet the birds sing,

So here I am, awaiting the last fall of spring...

Beyond the undead scars that my heart adorns

Leagues from respite, hopes yet unborn,

Beneath the bloods of past I still drape,

For a sunshine the heart craves,

Against the darkness that the undertakers bring,

I hope n await the last spring...

thanku, thanku,thanku...

from me n biswajeet(yea dat's d idiot's name...)

n yea by d way, 5 hrs from d tym we wrote d poem, we wrote our physics semester exams...

As we say so majestically in d poem dat could give Shakespeare a run fr his money,

We're still awaiting d last spring....;-)

P.S- i'm ok...

P.S.S-n d flowers r for u...:-)

seriously nothing...

2009-02-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

D stretch b/w d stark naked truths n d hazy maze of effervescent dreams r a myriad illusion...u cant escape either n yet u cant attain d modern-day nirvana of peace- of escaping angst ridden heartstrings dat render u in a mesh of paralytic occlusion. Blessed r dose who survive fr every step of d way is lyk having a thinning stream of ruptured dreams held tantalisingly in ur face. D faces r extraordinary, senile, beautiful, pretty, each one obfuscatingly painful. Yet v pass, v all pass thru d mesh n sooner or later v realize d gravity of love...Its insane, drawing us, compelling us in2 submission n v yield yet again, cringing fr d next part of d illusion.

Dreams r never meant fr dis part of d universe, if u harbour one ur destined to fail...

Dream low, go so slow, fr d night's just begun, n lightyears away is d sun

Ur wish b granted, it will b done, fr every step u take noder heart will b torn

For d one u yearn, behold d heaven's lovestruck son,

N u b doomed, begone, a cryptic message u'll take fr The One...

Dats d rule of d game if ur permitted to call it so. Ur passions r quiet in dis cosmos, d whirr of d motion of destiny is a preambulate chain dat caters to d whims of d whimsical...d rest b damned...

n wats up wid me??...

no, ur nt permitted to ask...god bless u.

d frst buk review....well almost;-)

2009-02-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

emotion or commotion??...wat is it??..dat thing calld love...dats d basic premise of d buk...yea its d name of d buk..."dat thing called love" written by Tuhin.A.Sinha...

Its nt really a bad start fr some script-writer who used to write lines fr some StarPlus/StarOne kinda shit serials dat r d biggest glycerine consumers single-handedly, d absurdly exaggerated camera movements dat made d cameraman seem lyk he ws tripped out on drugs, d plotting women n d sole bhartiya naari who leakd lyk a monsoon tap, d husband who'd b eithr b busy screwin or bein screwed, d one vamp in d serial who's eyes would alternately flame up along wid gut-churning SFX masacra(i gt d spelling rt na??..) n background score dat could put some death metal band to shame...

by d way y am i talkin abt dis crap wen i wuldnt ever in my senses??....aaaahh yea...dat book...as i was sayin nice try by sm1 who has written lines lyk "main tumhare najayez bachche ki ma banne wali hun"...d whole book is set at a languid pace throughout which smtyms irks u no end...yet it perks up often , d infused undercurrent of d rambunctious protagonist's struggle to cum to terms wid d past n present smtyms serves up a delicious palate of whiff bt it isnt enough to last u d book...

D words spoken by d persons in dis bookr kinda out of my league i guess...u might lyk it...i ddnt...its sketchy to b accurate bt some of d characters r well-etched out...however, d woman for who our guy falls isnt conjurable enough...mayb i lack d imagination...mayb d author left it to gud cause...

all in all my verdict...an ok breezy kinda read if u want to delve in2 relationships in general...sketchy bt survivable...guess dis guy could do better nxt tym around...

guess I'll b watching ur nxt Tuhin..;-)

bits of crumbs...

2009-02-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

folks here i am...("folks" implies d tiny percentage of ppl who hv sanctimoniously maintained d urge to check my blog widout being coerced in2 it...;-)...n dis "grt blogowner" has gt competition it seems...

u know wat??...i hv already lost 2 her...;-)

so m back to college after a 3 week layoff(in times of such recession, i guess dis isnt d rt word to use bt jst culdnt help it;-)..n m already feeling lyk some drunk in a trance state...its lyk jumping in2 d deep end of d pool all over again...d mess food's aroma is still willfully unindulgent to my senses, d sambhar tastes morbid n d consistency n thickness of d accompanying sabji is equivocally suspect...d colour of it varies everyday wid matching taste of spite...d rotis seem 2 b from a diff orbit altogether wat wid deir unbeatable crunchiness dat could beat a Munch hands down....n Ma wonders y my appetite's whetted down to sub-zero;-)...aaaaaaaaaah heavens its a conspiracy of d gods...wish Satan would do something about it....

N speaking of mess, my life's moving in a way tangential to wat i had preposterously thot...i thot dat my lyf wuld go lyk a stallion widout reins in a straight line(its called gravity fr dose who ddnt get it...;-)...n boy results came out...n guess wat??...

i was incidentally humming a Justin Timberlake track at dat tym d results came out...i never thot dat my unintentional prophecy wuld turn out so grossly accurate....

P.S- d track was "I got a sexy back...

yeaahh....yeaaahh

I got a sexy back..."...i hope fr my sake u dnt get it...;-)

of tennis and passions..........

2009-02-01T05:26:00.000-08:00

hey ppl m baccckkkkk......!!!
m jus misusing d gr8 honour dat dis blogowner hs givn me to blog on his part.....!!!:)
lawn tennis ne1.....?
well....this australian open 2009 is 1 helluva thng.....
i mn........wat wid d william sisters winnind d women's doubles......n bhupati-mirza pair leadin in d doubles;
with his "c'mon baibay..." action aftr d win........
williams beating safina in straight sets.....maannn...!!...
but yet d ultimate one remains......
yes ....u guessed it right.....d great no.1, no.2 seeds fluctuating b/w d ranks...
NADAL vs. FEDERER...!!!! dis is 1 match which no 1....i mean no tennis lover would like to miss for nethng in lyf......
at least not after the historical wimbledon 2008 which was a close shave b/w the 2.....
there is sumthng b/w federer , nadal duo......
i mean it goes lyk if dey have a match against each other, den dey nva lag behind each oder.......i dunno hw it happens.......
if it l b lyk 4-2 nad-fed, then widin 5 min it wud b 4-4 nad-fed.....gaaawwddd......n dats y deirs
is 1 match actually worth being written down in d pages of history......dey wud nva leave even a single shot....
as if deir lives depend on it......(i mn dey do ...ov course....!!)!!!
with 15 grand slams in his pocket , federer wud b d hot 1 fr bookies in ne match.....bt wat wid nadal showin
off his real talent,this somehow has given way for both feddy n rafa equally likely to be d winners........
so as it happened.......today i went to c d match ......d australian open 2009 of d gr8 plyrs......
d 1st set nad-fed 7-5 was as exhilarating as eva....!!!!!!
i mn beautiful..sexy....hooottt......
bt den......wid d start of the 2nd set.,....federer startd giving a disappointing performance
though both were still neck to neck.....n i stopped watching it.....
m a hard-core federer fan.....but somehow while watching d match i end up regrettin or celebrating fr both sides ....
i dunno y.......bt den i gav it a thot.....dat both are d world bests......so it comes out i guess.....d emotions...hehehe

juss wen i ws deep into da world of federer, along came novak djokovic n ma heart went out fr d tall, lean , handsome siberian hunk .....tennis playr...n more bcoz he defeated feddy......!!!!!!
i mn defeating d world no.1 n nw rankd no.3.....dats sayin somethng maaannnn.......!!!!!
neways......dis match hs bin won by rafa.......no prob fed buddy........
i knw u hv it in u(lolzzz) n u l able to do it......!!!!!!!

the chauvinistic pleasure called shopping.......

2009-01-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

shopping............
.....................................................
well.....i knw dat it dsnt require any xplanation.......d dots aftr d 1st word hv said it all i guess......!!!!
bt nonetheless.......
dis is 1 thng ne grl wud luuvvv tokin abt n ol d more doin it........hehehe
being a girl myself, dis is actually a chauvinistic pleasure......
d gr8 owner of dis blog has not had d pleasure of actually goin shopping wid me bt he jus had a "jhalak".....!!!! :)
weneva i get tym fr dis "great and religious" deed,
now, now.......don't get confused.....i hv nt drifted frm d topic entirely.....so a li'l insight into dis....
dis basically is d place whr i stay; wid only a small difference dat it is in india.....
d rural luxemborg (dis is an elite alias so dat its inhabitants don't feel alienated frm their world....;-)) so weneva m able to get out i take care to shop till i drop.......!! it is actually an art which, sadly, many people don't have.....only d female species has...n it has done d business world proud.....for, had it not been for them, where wud all the sethjis n all those wasteheads be goin....?!?...
I, for 1, m a complete SHOPAHOLIC....as i cnt put it better than that......lol.....ma fav places being all d gud 1nes in delhi.......well....lets nt delve deep into ma lyks.....
so...as i ws sayin......it is said dat diamonds are a girl's best friend....bt believe me........if ur girl is upset wid u..........forget all gile -shikwe wid her n tak her out fr a nice shopping spree....n agree to watever she wants to buy....dat'll definitely make her feell all goody goody n.. welll.....aftr dat.....c d results fr urself......!!!!
welll....dats it fr nw i guess....!!!!
so....happy shopping......!!!!

dat thing about plans...

2009-01-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

I'm backk n 2day's diatribe u all will have to accompany again...please bear wid me for m in a reflective mood...

The vagaries of life can b measured only wen u set a plan...a definite course of action u want to tread upon in ur life...d whimsicalities of it can den b remarkably funny n atrocious...god bless ur soul if ur my kind though...;-)

I 1ce had a plan...it was beautiful...i basked in its sunshine for one whole month...dat tym i was a stoic kid of 15 yrs...i had a vision u c...a plan dat needed execution...now i am a still a visionary...however i sell vision nowadays -2 ne1 who has d distinctive ability to rattle d rooster's cage("the white tiger" expression) v live in...u c nowadays i hv realized d difference b/w living a dream n living a dream...d former's better...;-)

my plan was formed not on a drunken night but on a night wen i read FPS...yes i wanted to crack IIT...dnt gt me wrong...d mosaic of mesmerizing dreams has its own charm n i was held captive...captive 2 d thousand coruscating flashes of light dat promised me i could do it...yes i was drunk...high on d success of living my dream...it was not to be...d dream lyk all things of my life corrupted n corroded in2 a satire of inertia dat wound me galaxies from it all...IIT b damned...just lemme pass dis tym god...pleeaasss god...dnt lemme flunk again...it's amazing how wen u dnt plan things, dey prioritise demselves on deir own...plans i had...i still do...only d inertia binds me...

now i am 19 n in college...b4 entering i had a plan...doin well...gettin a job(maybe...;-)...in short i had a long term plan...however lyf is an intricate wrangle of deceitful truths dat can b ur mate n yet screw up ur fate...now i have a vision..short-term one though...n dat is-SCREW PLANS...i know someday i will yield back 2 dat spiral of anticpation which comes wid a plan...till den i have d next bit of bad news to luk forward to...;-)

I have a frnd who was crazy...she made plans...lots of dem..she exercised d muscle b/w her ears far too much...strained her brains out literally...den smthng happened to her...n she gt d drift of wat was coming...inspite of her plans, things were gettin screwed up...sm1 told her(aahhhmmm...;-)2 lighten up a bit...she lightened up waaay 2 much...now she enjoys pissin off profs...n now m worried...

but u know wat??...screw d plan n njoi d free fall for a while...trust me...nothin in lyf is worth d plans...

P.S-even IIT wasnt...;-)

P.S.S-n no its nt d case of sour grapes...;-)

sitcoms of lyf-1...

2008-12-13T23:46:00.000-08:00

Imagination is more powerful than knowldege...-Albert Einstein.

Imagine a world where our profs believed dat...ME.

Exams n students have a symbiotic relationship...d kinda lyk extra-marital i'd say;-)...u cnt face it n u cnt turn away frm it...d monster is prehistoric n it refuses to go away...kinda lyk sphagetti refusing to vacate ur fork...u know u hv to eventually eat it n yet u try to fling it off ur fork...

an elder friend of mine was always bugged by his english teacher for his grammar...or rather the lack of it...he struggled n flailed against his teacher who'd continuously pester him in d class...bottomline-he hated it.

Eventually he grew up to b a police officer. Years later while going somehwere, he noticed a car slowly braking n den finally rolling to a stop a coupla meters in front of the prescribed zebra crossing at a red light while all oder vehicles stayed behind.

He walked upto d car n d owner rolled down d windows.

D teacher n his pupil again...

Something stirred up from d past n a smirk crossed d officer's face.

"Mr. Murthy...

Teacher crinkled his eyes in recognition...

"Mr. Murthy, dose lines r full stops. Not commas..."- a smirk again...;-)

it's said dat a predestined path is laid out fr all mortals even b4 dey set out...n d strings r pulled by some unaccountable force who sits up dere n judges us by our deeds...i think its chicken-shit...

As Woody Allen memorably put it 1ce-"if only god would show me some definite sign of being dere..lyk depositing a million bucks in my name at d swiss bank..."

m still searching for signs...

d luckless n d loveless r a lucky lot...

dnt believe me??...check dis 1 out...

in a group of cards, a guy was losing continuously...having lost his 5th flush straight, his friend consoled him...'dnt wrry mate, u know wat dey say rt??...unlucky at cards...lucky in love."

"oh yeah??..- d guy snarled.."m 35 n still single..

"well dere u go..."-d friend responded...;-)

i started off dis blog 2 get my frustration wid lyf out...instead it's bcum a sitcom without ne pretention dat veers off into ne topic...;-)

The world isn't just as weird as we imagine but weirder dan we can imagine...

frustrated...

2008-11-29T04:40:00.000-08:00

Enough has already been said about terrorism n d so called "resillient spirit of mumbai/delhi/bangalore...etc etc"...d question now is whether is dis a veil shrouding the government's undeniable ineptitude to safeguard d inhabitants of dis nation or d unquestionable proof of terrorism beefing up to d scale of epic proportions...
it doesnt hurt me one bit in concluding for the former case...d government's(dis, mind u isnt about congress or bjp or ne oder government being in power...dis has been done 5 yrs back to 15 years as well) utter disregard for civilian lives stems from the very fact dat dey know we cant do nething apart from being horrified during d blast n seething after it...d seethin lasts for a coupla days in most cases...is dat wat our "resillient spirit" as dey claim to be actually is??...
it might be...it might not...terrorists r'nt born to be dat..dis might go back to injustice dey faced way back...hatred might b d seed dat sprouted out to wreck havoc..dey bcum missiles n it doesnt take a genius to guide a missile...n den it goes ballistic...fidayeen...ballistic...suicide bomber...ballistic...guide??...
d guide is fanaticism...faith gives u religion...u take d faith out n wat u get is zealotry..."faith can cause miracles" might luk gud wen it cums outta d way of sum serene advisor but assuredly dere might b a coupla thousand projectiles who r ready to b used...one kind word, one soft hand on deir heads n dey cn give up lives to wat fanatics so proudly call "jehad"...
The Holy Quran describes ne offensive war to be unholy...the story goes smthng lyk dis...
Every time a new prophet came, attempts were invariably made by the enemies to suppress his message through the use of force and merciless persecution..so the most tragic irony therefore is dat the Holy Quran is singled out today as proponent of the employment of coercion for the sake of the spread of its message...even greater tragedy lies in the fact that it is the Muslim clergy itself which loudly propounds this view, blatantly attributing it to the Holy Quran...

To tame one's rebellious nature into complete submission to God is another form of Jihad which is in fact the greater Jihad, according to the Holy Prophet of Islam. On returning from a battle, he is reported to have said:
We are returning from the lesser Jihad to the greater Jihad....

d means terrorists use nowadays r convoluted n dey dnt hv a basis for calling it "holy"...but if it has to be done den most sane governments would take it up...
bt nt d past n present government of india...devastations hv cum n gone...dey hv offered condolences, monetary support, promises but worst of all dey hv offered hope...n dat is d worst thing to do to sm1...dats pitiable, dats pathetic, dats disgusting...n dats wat dey hv done...n it makes me sick to my guts...
words r best left to song lyrics but wen a million breaths stay glued to d tv or cry out loud after noder blast, d govnmnt offers words...words...words...
9/11 was d last american terror attack...7/11 was britain's last one...n india??...
hv kinda lost count dis year...india developing...india shining...its sick...n it makes me wanna puke...
i dnt remember whr i read it bt sm1 said...if u think dat ur too small to hv an impact try sleeping wid a mosquito in a closed room...
my empty useless condolences to d deceased's families...m sorry fr ur loss.

d kissa of a crazy engineer ...

2008-11-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little that one day we will qualify to do anything with knowing nothing...

this my frnds, is describing engineering in a nutshell..."dictionary.com" defines engineering as "skillful or artful contrivance; maneuvering", maneuvering who or wat dey dnt say...

a joke goes dat 1ce an ultra-expensive machine gt stuck...nuthin wuld make it work n d company couldnt afford noder one n dat machine's warranty hd expired, so dey decided to take d next best option which would go easier on deir pockets...dey struck a challenge dat ne engineer who could make it work again would go lush wid money dey askd fr...bt if s/he culdnt do it, no fees wuld b given...engineers came by tonnes n failed(IITians as well...;-)...days went by n d desperation grew...

one day dere came an old man who volunteered to do it...reluctantly, d machine was handed over to d man...

he askd fr 30 hrs to solve it...

24 hrs he studied d machine...

5 hrs 55 mins he slept n 5 mins b4 tym he woke up n askd fr a chalk which ws provided...

he marked a piece X n askd d company to replace it...ppl snorted n rubbished d man...

however, d company decided to try it out n dey replaced it...n voila!! it worked!!...den came d payment time...

d man asked fr $50,000...d guys lukd a him as if he was a crazy hag...

dat wuld get me a new machine- d chairman cried...

detail me ur fees, d director told him...

d old man gave a crinkled smile n said...chalk mark...$1...

knowing where to put it-$49,999...

knowing smthng is a two-way street...theory is wen u know smthng but it doesnt work n practical is wen smthng wrks n u dnt know y...we engineers combine both...nothing works n we dnt know y...;-)

adidas says-impossible is nothing...guess dey nvr hd psycho profs breathing down deir necks n assignmnts deadlines to chase...so i like nike bttr...atleast i cn say -"just did it.."..

bad decisions make fr gud experiences as m still realizing...d worse ur decision, d more outta d wrld xperience ur gonna gt...i mean take me as d perfect bunny...

rotting in tumkur in a stream called biotech. which i still dnt know y i optd fr...mayb d terms "insanity n jackass" will shed more light...my degree will b a joke(if i eventually survive dis place)...neither enginner, nor doc...stranded in b/w wid a career in which d only scope is a microscope...

i guess i shuld hv opted fr archaeology as a career...atleast it sound cooler wen i say my career lies in ruins...;-)

n not in finding y ppl luk fat in genes...

...or trousers fr dat matter...;-)...sry abt d pj fellas...if u cn cheer me up do post a comment coz dis blogger might get sm sunshine outta dat...

engineering screw-ups no.1

2008-11-11T04:55:00.000-08:00

this is a serious post...no lyk srsly...m in a kinda screwy phase rt now n i'll tell u y xctly...

it was sunday...no big deal i know...it was also 4.15 nearing evening...me n noder guy(frm now referred to as bisy) were watching a movie(phone booth-which by d way is a grt watch)...
n walked d deputy warden(frm nw on will b cld Naddru) on a freewheeling stroll...he stoppd, chckd out d room n ws about to go away wen he smelled it...

i froze...bisy froze...
naddru sniffed his nose, his face scrunchd up lyk a dog...

my hands moved imperceptibly 2wrds d deo lyin 3 feet frm me...

"cigarette!!!"-naddru shrieked...

my hands moved back n i adopted d most innocent xpression i could...

"jesus"- bisy breathed...
"u were smoking here..."-naddru smelled again...

no sir...
dont lie... -he barked.
we r nt sir...
wats d smell...

jesus-... it was bisy again...i guess he's of divine persuation...
who's room is dis??...-d pig-eyed, stone-faced turned to me..

i swallowed...
"wats ur name"??...

eh??- i pretended to b deaf as options slammed in2 my head at d speed of light...
name??..-he growled..

"sir u cn check d room if u want to"...dis was me, conjurin up d best option available...

he tuk a luk around...d mess was incredible even by our standards...heaps of clothes...bedsheet astrewn...mattress almost falling from bed...books...cds...oh yea i frgt d mst imp. thing...dust...dat did it...

dis tym he swallowed..."m nt d police"-he snarled...

ok sir..i agreed, bowin my head, prayers leaving my soul 2wrds bisy's jesus...

u'll meet me 2morrow n i are wanting d truth...he said, face all screwy in anger...

i bowed my head a coupla more degrees, guilty as charged...u is nt goin 2 get it dumbass...

he went away on d prowl, searching fr fodder...

P.S-a prsonal call came today morning on ma cell as i ws sleepin my guts out n i played violently sick on d fone...kept him on hold as i coughed n sneezed n felt nauseous...he told me to meet him 2morrow morning...;-)...wait fr wat hppns next...

as dey say, d future is yet to b written...

The histrionics of nether kind.

2008-11-04T05:55:00.000-08:00

If you are a grl, a woman, or anything remotely close to d XX chromosome, I will take the post-independence democratic liberty to tell you here and now that you wont like this post. This ain't sexist but look who's talking.

Girls are curious and I have a severe case of obssessive observation disorder syndrome-meaning I watch and observe, and when I have too much free time to spare, sometmes ponder on things which have eventually cumulated into this post. Dunno what Eve will say but then again, she retardedly screwed up her only chance of being the one to touch Adam's adam and reign as the only one...and then they came.

Now I'm no mind-reading psychologist but what little I have of my abilties, I'l try to delve into the "she" psychology...;)

A little teaser that accompanies a date- The guy's in his best behaviour all throughout, he never burps loud, never talks about how Manchester Utd beat the living crap outta Tottenham Hotspurs last match, he holds out the chair for the lady while she's about to sit and holds the door for the lady as she's about to enter. The lady chirps- You know why the chicken crossed the road?.
The guy- No, i dont.
The lady- To prove it wsnt chicken
The lady bursts into laughter. The guy quickly morphs his expression into a laugh.

Then the bill comes...

Scene I- The guy's about to take out his wallet n pay up. The girl speaks up-I never expctd this from you. The guy sits down, his expression bordering on befuddlement. What??
Why cant women pay their own??-the lady asks in a tone that only good food and wine can induce.
The guy tries to say something which is lost in a tirade against men and the discrimination women have had to face since d tym of Eve(or ws it earlier??).
The guy sits lyk a scrounged up lemon and pays half the bill...
The woman never complains wen he holds out d door fr her again.

Scene II- The guy asks- Should I pay the bill or do you wanna share??.
The woman gives him a basilisk stare that chills up his innards, chilling up his intestines that the gourmet had just warmed up. The guy gets his answer n bucks up fr what's coming.

Nothing comes.

However, a tornado of scorching intensity rams up in the ladie's mind which goes somthing like this- unchivalrous,uneducated,unsophisticated,ill-mannered,uncourteous scoundrel...doesn't know how to talk to grls or behave.
The diatribe doesn't start until she gets home and gets on the phone with her friends, then it's an avalanche of words that get showered on the guy who was doing his bit to show equality.

Oh yeah, equality is a dichotomy best exprssd in thought and action by the homo sapiens of XX chromosome. They serenade fr equality n den deserve reservations...dichotomy ne1?? Or did I hear you male chauvinistic ^@#&* ...

Parading around for true love is certainly one thing n then deciding to hog on the fattest goose available later is something that doesn't get into this small head of mine. I mean how would it be if I go around with a grl all my life and then this cute chick cums my way earnin a 6 figure sum(Godspeed and touchwood..;) I hop onto the bandwagon...gt married...help her to get ready to office, drop her off in a car, give a good-bye kiss and drive back home. Put the dishes to washer, clothes to laundry, den go out and rent some DVDs and invite some frnds for soccer matches and pool. Heaven eh??... :D

Understanding girls anyone??...

I'd rather go for Bill Gate's daughter. Shes easier.

Oh I frgot. Ever been on a shoppin trip with girls??
Someone said- Sanity and shopping girls go the opposite ways... and salesmen try covering both...pity them.

P.S-This is for all the girls out there. Read this as a purely observation based blog and you'll b fine...;)

P.S.S- The truth doesn't hurt half as much as somemtimes u people do.

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diwali@tumkuraaaaaa

2008-10-27T04:53:00.000-07:00

i suppose d title is sufficient n efficient to convey my despairingly irrevocable decision to spend my week long holiday@tumkuraaaaaaaaaa....

waaaahaaaaaa...ruckus is one way of saying of wat i hv made of my holiday...mental case is noder way of describin me...n to describe tumkur i'll take d rest of d space...thnk u...
located 65 kms away from bangalore, it's a 2 hr journey by bus...u cn go n come by train as well if ur nuts enough...local trains are wow out here (get my drift??)... d refreshing stench of a pan masala(fused with the sambhar) gazing ostensibly at u on d floor is remarkably distinct...n d constant chatter of d kannada language, d mildly pleasing smell of stale sweat, d chips being sold adds to d prevailing serenity....dnt get me wrong i hv nothing against tumkur local trains...most local trains across d length n breadth of dis nation r no bttr...jst replace sambhar wid local delicacy...thing is i dnt hv nethng fr tumkur local trains either...moving on...

tumkur is an amazing place in terms of weather...here u cn enjoy all 4 seasons flat in one day...d morning will b chilly n d water will look revolting as u gaze at d running tap wid d brush n soap in ur hand...my record is 11 mins...as d sun rises, d chill will dissipate n it'll warm u up, making u wish u hd taken a bath in d morning...(dnt wry no1 will know abt it, jst use a bit of deo...maaan i wish dey sold deo by kgs out here...wishful thinking...newayz) n by evening as d sun goes down d temperature will dip as much widout provocation as sherlyn chopra wen asked to act...dere will b a bit of rain or dark clouds...n by night u'll want to cuddle inside a blanket n go to sleep n thank heavens dat u ddnt take a bath...actually u might even promise urslf to hv a bath next morning if ur doped or smthng...

coming to d infrastructure i only got one sentence...it needs a lot of water, n most in d form of perspiration...na yahaan maal hain n na hi mall hain..lucky me eh??...
d only place to hang out if ur dating is a place cld coffe'n'cushi...(dnt ask wat it means...most probbly d guy who owns it is married, so take a wild guess who set d name..;-)...n wen u go in u cum out wid ur purse n stomach both empty n burning...d large pizza dere is amazing...cums in a bowl which is an inch longer dan d regular soup bowl...nvr ordered d small pizza...i guess it cums wid a microscope n surgical forceps...

d grls i wont comment on too much...n d localiites??...haha...dats a parody...most of dem march arnd as if dey own dis place n v r goddamnd aliens out here...nt lyk dere rnt gud localiites out here bt most r jst dat...localiites..get my drift.full stop.
dats it fr now..more on tumkuraaaaaaa later...fr now lemme cry ovr d spilled milk...

y does god keep teaching me lessons eh??...i hv no desire to learn...

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wat was dat chetan??...

2008-10-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

on friday i had an incredible urge to go c hello...waited till saturday fr d reviews...

i accept it...

i ws dissapointed...

shocked...

d critics slammed d movie lyk a vintage drunkard on a bellowing spree...n wt ws intensely astonishing was the acerbic nature of each critic...dey were(i thot) disparagingly harsh on the movie, d actors, d director n d script mind u...
nw had it(d movie) been sm1else's i wuldnt hv given a damn...who gives a shit??..
bt dis is chetan bhagat we r talkin about r'nt we??...i hv read fps around 18 times...mugged up each dialouge n cn narrate d story as it is with ease...on@cc about10 tyms n 3 mistakes about 7 tyms...

so i went...

n i wntd to ask 1 ques...chetan...wat is dis??...nw i'm no connoisseurs of movies or nethng bt my taste is reflective of wat ne ardent fan of chetan bhagat might wish for...n dat is simplicity...d connctn dat is forged en masse b/w us n him, d potency of which is stronger dan ne oder form of liasion...d script was patchy...ok d novel was dark, witty n moving...bt helllooo??...dis is a movie... we cnt fit 2 much in d 2 hrs slot cn we??...
bt wt ws d bit about priyanka(gul panag in dis case, amazingly plastic) askin shyam(sharman joshi, good prfrmnce) to stay out of hr lyf(rt aftr she finds out dat he's tapped his fone) n d expression??...
ms. panag??...dat scene ws d literal paisa-unvasool scene...amzingly plastic i must say again...
sohail khan as vroom??...stellar prfrmnce...must say he's goin up my scale..
amrita arora??...she gives new meaning to wooden...quit actin n spare us n urslf d pain hon...ur figure ws d only thng wrth wtchn earlier n nw its d gratifying pleasure of ur sis's bod svthrt...do quit acting...
issha koppikkar??...or ws it eesha??...or ws it eessha koppikkarr??..numerology cn only help wen u wrk wid gud directors...avg prfrmnce bt hrdly her fault ws it??...
military uncle ws gud as well...bt he ws kept in d 12th camera angle fr d last quartr of a nanosecond....meaning he ws d side focus...
comin to d director...d less said d bttr off...2(or ws it 3) debacles past...a director who culdnt draw out d best out of his actors...

chetan??...bttr luck nxt tym bro...dey raped ur novel n if d movie's sellin, its coz of ur name...
as simple as dat...

P.S-actually if ur chetan n if ur reading dis(highly improbable i know)....sue dem...:-)

quantum of shoelace...n d name aint bond...

2008-10-13T06:06:00.000-07:00

the beauty of college lyf isnt d melancholy dat accompanies it within a while bt d sheer no. of classes u cn take in even wen ur system n brain is numb/dead/harried/morose...n d list continues...

as i realized horrorstruck some days ago, bunking isnt an option ne longer...a miserable piece of dumbass(also known in othr words as a "professor") informed me with an almost indecent enthusiasm dat he'll detain me if i bunk ne more of his classes...big deal- i snorted thru my nose 1ce wen i ws out of his earshot...den i realized that he ws my proctor...shit!!

some days ago i realized during the physics class dat i cn sleep with my eyes open...well almost i guess...d symphony of d drone during d physics class is the best lullaby ne guy who hsnt hd a good night's sleep cn ever have...classes come n go...n with each chapter comes a new resolve to start studying from scratch... n den resolves come n go...an interminable wait fr d next chapter 2 start again...lyf's astonishingly ironic...

1ce u start attending some electrical classes, itll affect everythng in ur lyf...physically emotionally mentally psychologically physiologically biologically n most importantly...spiritually...coz 1ce u attnd some clses at a stretch, u'll start doubting the existence of god...

humans hv discovered ways to spy on countries from space bt d essential things still go awry...cnt dey invent a foolproof proxy system??...self-writing pens??...making teachers lose deir memory??..ahhhh...d cruel ironities of lyf...harry potter ws lucky...

mid-sems hv started...dey r sort of internal exams where d profs gt to screw d student's balls(nt all...gt ma drift???...) as a warm-up b4 d real deal gets dished out...in the morning there was maths n den it ws physics frm 3.45...maths ws even...physics ws even worse...tommorrow's electrical...

no srsly does god exist??..

P.S.- i wntd to personally apologise to all d dickheads who invented & modified quantum mechanics...i hv rewritten all rules of quantum physics 2day...sorry de-broglie, heisenberg, chadwick, einstein, newton(ws he involved in dis tomfoolery??...dunno man bt still i owe him an apology...i hv raped his laws often enough) n all other morons n buffoons who hd a say in inventing n changing laws of quantum physics...

lyk i did 2day...:-)

smoky life...

2008-10-06T04:36:00.000-07:00

The sole reason of writing a new blog ws 'coz i wntd to gt lst night's incidence out of my system... in every hostel i assume dere's no dearth of jackasses n nerds...bt insomniacs r in a league of deir own...
satanic insomniacs engage in cannibalism in the night n stupid insomniacs engage in water holi...it all strtd at 11.45 in d night wen norml earthlings engage in an activity cld sleeping n abnormal human beings(nerds) engage in an astonishingly gross activity cld studying, my field of observation being limited to hostel lyf...
surprisingly, i ws in d scnd category lst night(dnt gt me wrong, i stay away frm books as earnestly as sane ppl do , its jst dat dere ws a rumor of a quiz circulating lst night)...
11.45 in d night n i hear a guttural scream expunged frm within wt i thot ws a psychotic throat...it is followed by a roar, a bellow n den again jeers n screams...i peeked out, my curiousity gettin d bttr of me... a guy, in his banyan n shorts is drenched to d skin of his butt(ok dat ws jst n xpression, mayb a bit weird)...n den it hppnd...
wid a jovial yell of of unbridled insanity, a bucket of cold water got slammed into anothr guy by godknowswhom amidst lusty yells of crazed celebration fr holi hvin arrived early...den d nxt n den n den n again...it went on fr 45 mins, d sanity decreasing wid each passing second...awake ppl being pulld out n bein drenchd wid a joyous scream of bura na mano holi hain...i ddnt hv ne clue whethr dis shout ws an apology or a polite way of saying come out or we come in...
hostel lyf is an amalgamation m realizing...d certainity of being drawn in to dis kinda lyf is more dan say...still likin d chick u luvd once...well mayb m a hopeless romantic or mayb its jst dat wen m sitting on top of d lockd n out-of-bounds roof of our hostel, wid my frnds releasing smoke-rings n discussing lyf in general in a boozed out state, i luk up at d clear sky n c d moon n say beautiful, my frnds luk at me n drawl yeaaaa eetes...
noder smoke-ring...noder day...

sodden wid dreams...

2008-09-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

d secnd post n i still dnt know wt to write abt...so i'll jst share a piece i wrote sm months bck in d dream of churning out a page-turner novel...now its jst dat...a dream...well newz...read on if u wanna...
n yeah one more thing...kindly leave me ur honest comments...

THE FIFTH ACE
Prologue
26th December, 2007-New Delhi
RAW Headquarters The room Shirish Rathi found himself in was claustrophobically small. There was a small wooden table bang at the centre & five unmatched rickety chairs, one of dem on which he sat. The entire cell was hardly 6 paces square & the cramped space further cluttered up his mind, making it impossible to think or even feel. Frustration galled him, leaving no space for nething else. Nt. even fear.
Shirish lukd up at the fluoroscent lights buzzing overhead & wondered if some1 ws. watching him through a two-way mirror. He knew dere would be surveillance cameras inside d room, scrutinizing his every move. Shirish himself ws. no strngr to hidden cameras & abstract monitoring operations. He jst. wished some1 would show up. 35 mins. hd. passed & yet no1 hd. come 2 interrogate him yet.
So wat d fuck's going on, Shirish thought tersely as he lit up a cigarette & ran a hand casually through his hair.
He stared inattentively at d door & slipped in2 d recent past frm. where all d puzzling shit strtd...
.................................................
Ch-1
22nd December, 2007- Central Delhi
Hyatt Regency, 8:54 P.M
The floor manager replaced d phone back into it's cradle fr a sec before picking it up again n dialling two digits, connecting to the basement kitchen. Two rings n it was answered.
"Hello."
The manager cut to businness wid a bark." Room no. 652. Suite. Y hsn't d food been sent yet? Its been 25 mins. u imbecile. Wt did I tell u abt dat room no.? I am warning u n u listen to me u retard, u hv got 300 seconds flat to get d grub to dat room. U get ur act straight. U hv got 300 secs. U hear me u moron? 300 secs."
There was a click as d manager slammed down the phone, his whole being trembling, sweat clinging to his business suit. He exhaled, trying to steady his chaffed nerves, an attempt dat was only partially successful. He exhaled again, n again until his body stopped shaking.
God, dnt let dat man get angry...please God....
Below in the kitchens, a butler hurried out wid d ordered room service on d tray on wheels, hurriedly ironing out his appearance, his manner repulsively bootlicking. He stopped in frnt of d lift, praying steadfastly fr d lift to come down, d abuses of d chef still ringing in his ears. The chef had been abused by the kitchen manager n he in turn, had turned it on to the butler.
6...5...4- the lift carried on its descent slowly...
The chef in his attempt to please the man in room no. 652's appetite had devoted an xtra 15 mins dan was requisite. The man, godknewwhohewas hd called once n chaos resulted...
4...3...2
Who was he? The man in no. 652??..nobody knew...he ws a honcho fr sure...his arrival hd disturbed the manager's equilibrum fr sure...who was he?...better off nt knowing...who cares??...
2........1.the lift downed to the basement where the butler ws still thinking n praying....
He never saw or heard anything, the first blow dat landed on his skull sent him staggering to the ground; he lurched on his feet, trying to stay upright. The second landed squarely on the top of his spine, sending him reeling in shock and pain. He floundered on his feet again before the third blow on his jaw sent his jagged thoughts into oblivion; he fell to the ground. Through his swaying visions broken through mist of pain, he saw a fragented figure above him holding somethng. Somethng long n heavy. Then his thoughts were immured in darkness.
......................................................
An hour and 10 mins later, a floor steward found a butler strewed across d basement toilet- his face sporting a long n cruel red welt, a broken skull, concussions, unconscious. Within 10 mins, the floor manager who hd abused the kitchen abt room no. 652's order rushed to the man's room, his nerves on the precipice of crazed hysteria. The man in room no. 652 was stretched out haphazardly on the huge bed, his half-eaten food's aroma still detectable. His body was cold, his face n lips blue. The man was dead. The manager, frightened by his presence couldnt handle his presence of death. He passed out, his trembling body still shaking.
.................
The doctors revealed cyanide poisoning as the cause of death. No1 knew how.

23rd December, 2007-West Delhi
3:37 A.M
A guy prowled stealthily across d row of bungalows, dissolving into d depths of d cold night at d slightest of sounds. He reappeared & moved, disappeared & appeared over again. A half-moon was shrouded in the inert black sky, glimpsing out from b/w layers of cloud that drifted in d night breeze. The night was inhumanly cold & a low December fog further hung in d air, d chill numbing in sudden bursts of wind. D streetlights illuminated d whole area, bathing d streets in an eerie fluorescent halo in which moved d solitary vigilant of d night. So fluid & sudden were his movements dat he might hv. resembled an apparition to d unexpecting eye.
He finally halted in frnt. of one particular house. The house appeared peculiar in it's surroundings. D garden lukd unkempt wid d bushes growing wild,d vines creeping upwards, encircling & entrailing itself to d Asoka & Peepul trees growing heavenwards. D bungalow hd. an uncared 4 luk all in all. However, even though d house appeared an abnormality in it's picture -perfect surroundings, a Mercedes Benz SLK Convertible stood inside d 12-foot tall locked gate.
D guy moved suddenly, his running steps didn't make ne sound, his movement lithe & smooth, he hd. crossed d entrance to d house, shimming up d 12-foot gate in secs. Once on d oder side of d gate, he allowed himself to be swallowed by d darkness, listening wid strained ears fr. ne stray sound. All ws. calm & he breathed again. He stroved his eyes to adjust to d dark, dey did & he took everything in, his eyes darting back & forth, penetrating, examining. Once satisfied he moved cautiously towards d Benz.
He contemplated his nxt. step on d dust-coated verandah in d silent night. A cricket hooted somewhere idly in d frosty cold, it's voice magnified in d stillness of darkness. Stifling a yawn, he made up his mind & lowered his tools on to d cold floor.
"I'm sry svthrt. Really sry."-the guy whispered lovingly 2 d car & pulled himself below d Benz carefully, muffling ne sound & set to work.

23rd December, 2007-Panchsheel Flyover, South Delhi
11:23 A.M
A car moved drunkenly on the road, it's horn screaming it's helplessness as d driver suddenly slumped forwards, apparently knocked unconscious with head wilted on top of d steering wheel.The car moved in it's inebriated state, slamming into other cars even as other drivers swung out of d way, squalling out profane words of sudden shock.
Angry screams of outrage, however were drowned by d deafening cacophony dat hd resulted, every horn on dat side of d flyover blasting as d car moved up in it's sottish state up d flyover towards Nehru Place.D man went totally limp at d ht. of d parabolic curve of d flyover & d car slewed leftwards, uncontrollably accelerating to a magnanimous 107k's/hr.
Every living eye followed d car's trajectory in horror; d horn stopped howling as d car careened indocilely towards d concrete railings. With an ear-splitting screech of metal on stone, d Merc. Benz ricochetted onto d pavement & pummelled through d reinforced concrete bounds towards d skies.
Massive chunks of concrete fell earthwards as d boundary caved into d brute force of momentun of d car & d wheels of d Benz moved dizzily 4 just d smallest space of time as it stalled mid-air 4 a nanosecond, drawing d collective gasps of horror, fighting against d pull of gravity......& den d impetus of d car pushed it an almost graceful parabolic arc & gravity sucked it downwards at 312feet/sec.....
D Benz fell, 1600 kgs. of lifeless mass wid it's dead owner spiralling ungoverned onto d top of a DTC bus. D bus's glasspanes shattered; piercing screams of terror reverbated thru d air & d Benz fell wid a sickening crunch on to it's left & passing vehicles veered sharply out of d way, yelling abuse at nething & everythin.g. D Benz rolled, skidded & flipped over n over like a monstrous metal pancake over d abrasive surface, it's dead owner being flung unceremoniously around inside d car.
A mammoth explosion echoed as a great upthrust of scorching fire shot out of d Benz, ripping apart d roof in one stroke. D Benz finally halted on it's wheels, a satanic mess of convoluted flames & smoke. Every car stopped behind it & every car braked ahead of it, glancing bckwards.
Every single living eye stared hypnotised as d M-Benz SLK Convertible gave a last shriek of tortured metal & d fuel tank exploded with a bellowing roar; a fireball erupted frm. under d front bonnet dat mushroomed upwards until d Benz ws nothing bt. pieces of wreckage raining down frm. d skies.
............................................................................................................
.........TO BE CONTINUED

dawn is it??...

2008-09-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

frankly speaking dis might just b a passin hobby...bloggin i mean...a frnd of mine in my hostel blogs n i decided dat i'll do dis as well...so dawn it is...

by d way dis title hs noder meaning...

its been a month of college/hostel lyf n it hs been more of a bhelpuri...a bit of dis taste n a bit of dat...all mixed up to provide a taste dat leaves ur tongue n mouth scrunched up...i opted fr biotech. a month back as my B.E. course...

i still dnt know y i did dat...

i took a college cld Siddaganga Insti. of Tech which is located in a place cld tumkur in karnataka(which m sure no earthling hs ever heard of)...

n m still wondering y i did dat...

i mean d college rocks(??)...bt d place is literally an out-of-world experience..

tumkur??...

yeah ur right...m still thinking y i did dat...

dawn??...or is it a mirage??...

i hv been summoned by seniors 7 times...askd to wear formal clothes...cut my hair to a bachchan pandey ishtyle...i hv buccaneered around d football field against seniors in a football match n ended up being thrashed 11-3...i hv been askd to leave my attitude 2700 kms away in my home...

n i hv been asked by seniors to come to dem widout ne hesitance if i ever hv a problem...bhelpuri??..told u so...

a bit about d hostel b4 i sign off...

hostel lyf??...

it r/s...o/u...cks...hate washing clothes...hate d mess food(its so aptly titled na??...)...hate standing b4 d water cooler to fill my bottle n most of all...hate dat i miss my mother's food 'coz i hd told her dat 1ce i go 2 hostel i'll nt think of u...

i think abt her bt its d food i miss d most...

bt den again...i cnt watch "basic instinct" at 1.0 clock in d night widout every sec. bugging d shit outta me dat dad's gonna wake up n kick my ass out of d house...i cnt mock-wrestle wid my frnds at 11.45 in d night...i cnt bunk a cls widout d lurking fear of getting caught...i cnt yell n scream n roar in delight at defeating sm1 in a game of counter-strike...

as dey say...no 2 sides r heavy enough....only d points of view r...

n yeah...every morning i'm forced to wake up at 7.20 fr d cls dat strts at 8.00 by one frnd or d oder...my hostel is 10 mins awy frm campus by bike...n u know wat i say??..
dawn is it??...